Its been a while I called GOD. He had ordered us - Me74 and 23 others like me - not to call him for a while. He was busy sorting out the design defects in the Model called Tiger Under the Hood.
But recent upheavals in the Earth Inc at various places starting from Haiti, then Chili, then China and finally Mexico and to top it all off the big smoking gun in Iceland - we Me74's decided to have our urgent meeting this weekend.
All of us Me74's posted in different corporate offices of the Earth's Inc to collect data had a video conference - we had to switch off our emotional software's lest we loose track.
Seeing the immense devastation all over and then also so many of the Models of various designs of different colors, size, shapes all being defunct and crushed to oblivion, we decided it was time to call HIM and get some answers.
So I was chosen to call and I did call HIM yesterday and here presenting you with the short transcript.
Me: Hello its Me74. Can I talk to God.
Mellisa: (Gods secretary) Hiii I was expecting your call. He knows all about your meeting. I will transfer you to HIM
Me: (scratching my head still looking for that freaking antenna that controls Me) : Ok....Glad to know that.
God: Hello Me74. (straightaway he got bugged) You guys can't follow orders I see. You had to call in spite of me telling you not to.
Me: Sorry about that but you know Why we had to do this and I also saw that you realigned the Wood on Tiger Under the Hood. He is following his earlier orders of following the small balls all over the curves.
God: Ummmm, Yeah. You are wondering Why I am not maintaining my factory Earth Inc and why are there so many shattering upheavals all around making many of my machines defunct. Right?
Me: (stunned) Precisely.
God: Now listen to me carefully without interrupting and once I am done simply hang up without asking further questions. Only answer Yes or No when I ask you- Is that understood?
God: Ok first lets talk about the Earth Inc. I had to buy 7 different continents from different galaxies to put them together to make Earth Inc.
So that these stay apart in my desired configuration I have a lifelong contract with Rain God Corp and Evaporo Bros. They take care of the large water bodies on the factory premises. Besides to keep these continents from creaking while they rotate and work I had to buy millions and millions of gallons of Oil from Slippery Nipple Galaxy.
Are you with me?
Me: Yes. (not sure where HE was going with this)
God: So anyways. My biggest design mistake is that I allowed You machines to think. And I can't fix it as the scientist who designed YOU ran away. I have told you about this earlier. Remember?
Me: Yes, something about Saturn buying him out or something like that.
God: Yes, so what YOU guys have done is created machines like cars, planes etc. to simplify your given tasks of doing manual labor in my company. To run these machines YOU are using MY resources by boring holes at various places on Earth Inc. Some of these bigger holes are being made on Man Made Rigs out in the Ocean. Now how stupid can YOU guys get.
Me: What do you mean. I am getting confused.
God: Just like YOU have designed the cars for you comfort and its engine requires OIL to run so does my Machine Earth Inc.
By boring holes you are reducing the high internal pressure that I have been asked to maintain to keep continents afloat and in position.
Then YOU are removing Oil from below the continents creating voids and loosening up the continents.
Besides this the Water is penetrating back into these holes replacing OIL. This reduces the surface pressure I have created to keep the machine intact with the help of Rain God Corp to maintain an equilibrium.
Me: Damn. Never thought about this. In short deficiency of OIL is creating friction thereby making the continents shift thus these upheavals.
God: Exactly. In short you are Fucking with my BIG DESIGN. (angry...never heard his to be this angry)And thus to save the planet I introduced model GORE1 to divert YOUR minds to seek alternative fuel sources and leave my Factory alone.
My stocks are not doing very well currently and I have no resources to got to Slippery Nipple for more OIL or carry out repairs on my Factory Premises.
Me: Aheemm. Ok then what about the Smoking Gun in Iceland.
God: I had told you to follow orders and not ask questions right. (click)
Me: Hello (tap tap tap) Hello. Damn.....lost HIM as always.