Nirvana

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Dont just stare go there and read will you

God's Inc (GI) -3

I have had two earlier conversations with GOD'S INC.
Transcripts of which can be found here. (they are a bit long but precursor to this talk - these were written when I did not have a reader base - if possible read them)
God's Inc - 1 (September 2007)
God's Inc -2 (November 2007)

It is almost 3 months - finally I was able to pay off all my holiday bills - so decided to call God's Inc again. (they dont have a toll free 800 number!!) Also due to the Christmas Holidays, God's Inc had doubled the price on the call for December to reduce the frivolous calls for stupid gadjets people wanted. They had to take this drastic step as HIS model Santa -11, serving this part of the world during Christmas, had contacted arthritis.
(Dialed the number. After the customary chosing 1 then 3 then finally four....the customer service rep picked up the phone)
Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, ME-74, this is Manish. How may I help you today?

Me: (Surprised) How do you know its me and isnt that an Indian Name?

GI Rep: Sir, we have your phone number on the record and God's Inc have hired Bee Pro to outsource and answer their calls.

Me: (WTF - even God Outsources) Oh Ok.

GI Rep: I see you have interacted twice before. Also from the last transcript I see that you alongwith 11 other ME-74 were upgraded for the Green Design. How do you find the changes.
Me: Well (thinking - I know he is testing me - I transmit the data and he already knows it - again looking for that elusive antenna for the umpteenth time - so I play along) for starters I feel pure and energetic, have had good food supplements and am trying to use energy efficient design modules.
(A loud siren in the background and hush hush noise)

GI Rep: Well, sorry to interupt but, can I put you on a hold.

Me: (as if I had a choice - and I was witnessing chaos as GOD's Inc) Sure.....(I waited for almost almost 10 mins -this is going to be an expensve call)

GI Rep: Sorry we had an emergency, there was a bunch of people who were decommisioned in Iraq. We has to take care of their soul inputs back into our system and so the siren.

Me: What do you mean - people killed by another suicide bomber. (I was a little sad)

GI Rep: Sir, since you are a model that can only transmit data and not act on your own congnizance - let me share some fascinating information today.

Me: Wow, I was feeling privileged.

GI Rep: You know that there are constant calamities happening on earth in the past few years. There was a WTC Tragedy, Tsunami, Bomb Blasts all over the world, Earthquakes...

Me: Yeah, terrible and so many people died - I hope no one of my 24 ME-74's were killed

GI Rep: Well no, all the ME-74 were positioned appropriately to avert any such incidences. But the thing is what you think as a tragedy is basically HIS way of decommisioning old, derilict, useless or faulty models. Sometimes due to lack of time some good models are also decommisioned.

Me: Means ( I was getting confused at this point )

GI Rep: See, to make your life easy, GOD borrowed the technology from Galaxy Automubuloma. They sent their best technicians who work in big coglomerates manufacturing cars, disguised as earthlings. So if there is some problem in the car, then the manufacturers recall that part and replace it or sometimes decommision it. Similarly HE has to do this from time to time. What he does is get the programmers to make these "extra" earthlings to gather at a place and decommisions them at a time by infusing some natural or man made event.

Me: But why in such a tragic manner?

GI Rep: See when GOD leased this planet Earth from Galaxy Inc - the lease says that no more than 7 billion models can inhabit it at a given time. So HE has to take these drastic measures.
Me: So, you are telling me, that these tragedies are planned. (damn). But then why did HE infuse this emotional gadjet in us. Why do we feel sad?

GI Rep: Well that is where the problem is. When earthlings were being designed - there was a brilliant engineer Emostein - who designed these two gadjets. One for the male earthlings and one for the female. Both have subtle differences.

Me: So then why cant he reprogram and RECALL the gadjet - so that atleast we dont feel this pain

GI Rep: Well its all corporate politics. Due to certain early faulty designs like the Mussolini-1, Hitler-1 and Stalin-Jr, stock of God's Inc dropped. Seeing its great potential, Saturn Corp wanted to buy the earth. In an effort to avert control of HIS company, HE traded Emostein to Saturn Corp.

Me: So are you telling me there are more ME's like me on Saturn.

GI Rep: That is exclusive information, I cant divulge. Well so in short Emostein took his programs with him and GOD was stuck with these dual emotional gadjets that he cant recall.

Me: Well, ok....(did not know what to say here). My credit is almost getting over. Just one more question.

GI Rep: Go on...

Me: As discussed last time, Bush-2 will be decommisioned, but why this neck to neck battle of Clinton-2 and Obama-1.

GI Rep: Well that again ME-74 is classified information. In time to come you will see his MasterPlan.

Me: Ok...then, Manish, hope all is well in India.

GI Rep: Yes it is. As usual do not divulge this information to anyone. Thank you for calling God's Inc. (click!!!)

Me: As if I have control over it.

God's Inc (GI) - 2

On September 14 of this year I had a call made to Customer Service at God's Inc.

The transcript of the previous talk can be found here (http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/09/gods-inc-gi.html).

Yesterday following up on that call - I got a call back from GI Rep. Last time I was speaking to Travis - a rather stern character. Today my luck I was talking to a chirpy Stacy - something was not feeling right (a hunch)

GI Rep (Stacy) : ME-74 this is Stacy, calling on behalf of God's Inc. How are you doing today, hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Me: Yes, thank you (in my mind cut the chase tell me the reason for you call fast.....)

GI Rep: I see that you had called a few weeks back and had asked to see if any peripherals were available to upgrade your model ME-74. At that time when you called we were having a secret research going on and did not want to leak out the news. So GOD told you that there is no upgrade availaible.

Me: OK..... (So even GOD lies. Hmmmmm)

GI Rep: As you are aware that we have been constantly monitoring data coming from you and are happy that you have been selected alongwith 11 others out of the total 24 in your design group.
(started again poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)
This upgrade is to make you fellow ME -74's compliant with the future research that we are going to conduct here.

Me: Why are you asking for my consent this time - why like last time am I not told that I am simply designed to transmit data.

GI Rep: This again is confidential data that we cannot divulge. Let me go through the process and you will understand. Tonight post Thanksgiving dinner at 9.30 please go to the balcony and face East. Close your eyes and tap your head three times. We will then start the process of upgrading your database.

Me: Ok....as if I had a choice. (just to be smart) Stacy, thats your name right?

GI Rep: Yes

Me: What if I dont go to the balcony? What then.

GI rep: Sir you are aware that these design desicions are not in your hand. We implement the entire program. Here is what can happen if you dont comply. Thanksgiving dinner is as you know heavy and you will have had wine. You will start to feel nauseous and caustrophobic whereby the only option for you is to be on the balcony outside. Also we will activate the code for severe headache whereby you will have no option but to tap your head. So in short simply just comply.

Me: Ok (damn - why did I open my mouth. Now I understand why this polite girl is talking to me today - Marketing man, marketing - hope she is as hot as she sounds :))

GI Rep: So the update is based on the current technological advances implemented by an Intelligent Design Model Gore-1. We are trying to make Me-74's green and energy efficient. This way the data collected from you will help us design a better versions of Green Models and updates for the ME85-95 derived from you.

Me: Ok. Is there anything special that I will have to do.

GI Rep: No dont worry. Everything has been taken care off. You will do exactly as planned.

Me: Hmpfffff. Ok. Hope it is an useful update. ( I have limited control as I was made to understand before)

GI Rep: Tommorow then we will forward you the relevant documents that you can email back to us - have to make sure that there are no bugs and the upgrade was sucessful.

Me: Ok, thank you, will do as PROGRAMMED. (again I felt all quesy and started to look for that stupid antenna)

GI Rep: And by the way you are not supposed to divulge any information that you email back to us to fellow ME. We understand that you have started a BLOG.

Me: Yeah I kinda know, secret right and if I dont comply I will get a flash and will loose part of my current memory and........Oh!!! One more question, last time you mentioned that you guys were figuring out what went wrong with Bush-2, can I know if there was any progress.

GI Rep: Sorry again confidential, but be assured that we are upgrading and constantly reprogramming Clinton-2 and Obama-1 so that everything comes back to normal. Also we are looking into the possible recommisioning of GORE-1 to head the state as his work to implement Green Design is almost over.

Me: Ok, Thank you. I feel good as there is hope and maybe then my being reprogramed will make sense.

GI Rep: Have a nice day. (Click)

(just sitting here wondering - there are some obvious signs on me after this upgrade, but I cant divulge - GOD's INC gives us all the necessary programs and operating systems but it is left upon us to make them useful and if you stray you stand a chance of being decommisioned)

Gods Inc (GI)

(Ringing, Ringing.....Choices, pressed 1 then 3 then 4 finally....my turn to talk to customer service representative from God's Inc.....Am on hold......(this message will be recorded for new born integration purposes).....waiting...click)

Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, this is Travis from God's Inc. How may I help you today....

Me: Hi, I have a question regarding ME, have some operating problems.

GI Rep: Sir, before we proceed I would like you to confirm certain things....

(He goes on to confirm my dad's, mom's name and place of birth - he gets my record in their database @ God's Inc.)

GI Rep: Ok sir, now what seems to be the problem

Me: I need to upgrade my operating system and memory to relate to other people.

GI Rep: Let me check your record sir....will be with you in a minute (puts me on a hold)

GI Rep: Sir, the model that ME-74 is built of is an experimental model. There are only 25 such models that were designed by Mr. God. Right now all those models are functional and active in different servers of the world. ME-74 are not allowed to upgrade or have any changes.

Me: Hold on, so you are telling me I am a Guinea Pig. A mouse !!!!!!!!

GI Rep: I cant say that sir, after we all are still HIS creation, but I do beleive that in your case it is somewhat like that.

Me: Damn, no wonder then I cannot proceed with simple daily functions as I am still primitive in my actions while all other BIOSes have been upgraded. Is there anyway I can attach a peripheral device to enhance what I have atleast instead of replacing it.

GI Rep: Sir, I am sorry that cannot help you. You are put there to undergo certain life events that we are monitoring constantly. The data received from you and 24 others put in different servers helps us design the future parts. ME 85-95 are ungraded versions of ME-74 and you mignt find them to be congrous to you but not similar.

Me: So without my consent I am helping others while I cant be helped. I have to undergo this trecherous journey without any respite from the INC.

GI Rep: Sir, I dont think you have a right to give a consent, you are programmed to transmit the data.

Me: (started poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)

Me: So you are saying that virtually I have no warranty whatsoever on any of ME-74. It is a limited edition experimental model. So is there any possibility of ME-74 getting any help to make things a little easier.

GI Rep: Sorry sir, but you are an absolute. You were derived from experiments of ME58-68. And are an advanced version of those but a primitive version of the current. The only way you can get upgraded is that one of the other 24 ME is deactivated and their parts are reattached to you. But currently you are going through a phase where you might be shipped to a different server from the one where you were first transplanted and so are the others.

Me: Now I started to feel oblique. I am special but at the same time I am common. What luck!!!!!! So I will go, but is there any way I can leave a message for Mr. GOD.

GI rep: Sir you are lucky as he is in the office today, trying to figure out what went wrong with the model BUSH-2. He is in a meeting with the engineers to see how to decommision this model or atleast change its system. Hold on let me get him for you.

Me: Whoa.....I was going to talk with the master himself.....man I started sweating and became nervous. (after a long pause)

GOD: Hi, ME-74, this is the master speaking. You wanted to tell me something.

Me: In a fit of nervousness, yes Sir, I just wanted to thank you for this journey on earth but wanted to ask you why was I chosen for the experiment.

GOD: First of all, I appreciate you thanks. Dont despair though, atleast you have a journey that is exciting. There are many rejects in my office here. There is no special picking of you, it was random. So enjoy it while you can or else I will have to decommision you.

Me: No, its fine, now I know my place in this whole wide big world. I will carry on this exciting journey and keep transmitting you data to design a better ME in the future. (again I fidgited with myself to see if there is any probe on ym body)

GOD: Great, have a wonderful life and please dont hesitate to call us if you have any doubts or questions. Click.......

(If you like this fictional writing you will surely enjoy the movie The Truman Show)