20071123

God's Inc (GI) - 2

On September 14 of this year I had a call made to Customer Service at God's Inc.

The transcript of the previous talk can be found here (http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/09/gods-inc-gi.html).

Yesterday following up on that call - I got a call back from GI Rep. Last time I was speaking to Travis - a rather stern character. Today my luck I was talking to a chirpy Stacy - something was not feeling right (a hunch)

GI Rep (Stacy) : ME-74 this is Stacy, calling on behalf of God's Inc. How are you doing today, hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Me: Yes, thank you (in my mind cut the chase tell me the reason for you call fast.....)

GI Rep: I see that you had called a few weeks back and had asked to see if any peripherals were available to upgrade your model ME-74. At that time when you called we were having a secret research going on and did not want to leak out the news. So GOD told you that there is no upgrade availaible.

Me: OK..... (So even GOD lies. Hmmmmm)

GI Rep: As you are aware that we have been constantly monitoring data coming from you and are happy that you have been selected alongwith 11 others out of the total 24 in your design group.
(started again poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)
This upgrade is to make you fellow ME -74's compliant with the future research that we are going to conduct here.

Me: Why are you asking for my consent this time - why like last time am I not told that I am simply designed to transmit data.

GI Rep: This again is confidential data that we cannot divulge. Let me go through the process and you will understand. Tonight post Thanksgiving dinner at 9.30 please go to the balcony and face East. Close your eyes and tap your head three times. We will then start the process of upgrading your database.

Me: Ok....as if I had a choice. (just to be smart) Stacy, thats your name right?

GI Rep: Yes

Me: What if I dont go to the balcony? What then.

GI rep: Sir you are aware that these design desicions are not in your hand. We implement the entire program. Here is what can happen if you dont comply. Thanksgiving dinner is as you know heavy and you will have had wine. You will start to feel nauseous and caustrophobic whereby the only option for you is to be on the balcony outside. Also we will activate the code for severe headache whereby you will have no option but to tap your head. So in short simply just comply.

Me: Ok (damn - why did I open my mouth. Now I understand why this polite girl is talking to me today - Marketing man, marketing - hope she is as hot as she sounds :))

GI Rep: So the update is based on the current technological advances implemented by an Intelligent Design Model Gore-1. We are trying to make Me-74's green and energy efficient. This way the data collected from you will help us design a better versions of Green Models and updates for the ME85-95 derived from you.

Me: Ok. Is there anything special that I will have to do.

GI Rep: No dont worry. Everything has been taken care off. You will do exactly as planned.

Me: Hmpfffff. Ok. Hope it is an useful update. ( I have limited control as I was made to understand before)

GI Rep: Tommorow then we will forward you the relevant documents that you can email back to us - have to make sure that there are no bugs and the upgrade was sucessful.

Me: Ok, thank you, will do as PROGRAMMED. (again I felt all quesy and started to look for that stupid antenna)

GI Rep: And by the way you are not supposed to divulge any information that you email back to us to fellow ME. We understand that you have started a BLOG.

Me: Yeah I kinda know, secret right and if I dont comply I will get a flash and will loose part of my current memory and........Oh!!! One more question, last time you mentioned that you guys were figuring out what went wrong with Bush-2, can I know if there was any progress.

GI Rep: Sorry again confidential, but be assured that we are upgrading and constantly reprogramming Clinton-2 and Obama-1 so that everything comes back to normal. Also we are looking into the possible recommisioning of GORE-1 to head the state as his work to implement Green Design is almost over.

Me: Ok, Thank you. I feel good as there is hope and maybe then my being reprogramed will make sense.

GI Rep: Have a nice day. (Click)

(just sitting here wondering - there are some obvious signs on me after this upgrade, but I cant divulge - GOD's INC gives us all the necessary programs and operating systems but it is left upon us to make them useful and if you stray you stand a chance of being decommisioned)

13 comments:

bluecoffeemug said...

Wow!! amazing post man!! u totally rock...

KP said...

lol.at least they called u back.....:)

Abreysham said...

when will I get a call from God Inc.? I need some answers too :-( Can you ask the rep to get in touch with me? Coz I tried to find God.. I couldn't, and have ended up lost in more ways than one.

c e e d y said...

@bluecoffeemug
Thanks dude for you effort of reading the long post - sometimes one gets carried away with the idea.

c e e d y said...

@kp
we all get the call - you just have to be aware of it - we loose ourselves in the daily grind and always miss that important call

c e e d y said...

@abreysham
anoymous - you need to expose your identity in some way for me to forward it to the GOD INC rep. They actually dont give you answers just situations - answers and choices are basically left to us.

Abreysham said...

if that is so, why do we make choices that are not right? who takes care of that?
re: my identity- you could ask the Rep to remind Him about the frantic distress calls one Abreysham made ages ago- but then turned away as there was no answer. They say you never forget the face of the neediest beggar. You think He'd have caller ID with video?

c e e d y said...

@abreysham
we are all responsible for our actions
GOD is like a car manufacturer or a computer manufacturer - who designs and gives us the products - it is completely left to the user how to utilize it to the fullest
you can blame a car manufacturer for your accidents and bad driving or a comp manufacturer for surfing sites and getting virus....
about me introducing him to you...i dont think i can do much, if he did not listen to you why would he listen to me.....i think you gave up to easily :)
and i will ask about the caller ID and video if I do get in touch with them

cheers

Abreysham said...

maybe you're right. maybe I didn't really look that hard. I lost faith, what could I do? Thanks though, I'll keep looking for connections that may finally get me to Him. coz I don't think I have the strength of faith to get to Him myself....

peace

Pri said...

u r lucky buddy...sometimes they jus plain forget to call back :(

c e e d y said...

@pri
nope they dont forget, you forget to charge HIS special calling card...the dialogue of OSO (i know you hate P. Coehlo - fits very well here), learn to be quiet and listen within - HE is within you.....

Keshi said...

AMAZING concept here! LOVED IT.

**GOD's INC gives us all the necessary programs and operating systems but it is left upon us to make them useful and if you stray you stand a chance of being decommisioned

Very well-said :)


Keshi.

vEENs said...

hmphh! :)