Gods Inc VII - Crisis

This is the Seventh post in this series - if you want to read the earlier posts click on the label "Gods Inc" on the right.

Its been a while I called GOD. He had ordered us - Me74 and 23 others like me - not to call him for a while. He was busy sorting out the design defects in the Model called Tiger Under the Hood.

But recent upheavals in the Earth Inc at various places starting from Haiti, then Chili, then China and finally Mexico and to top it all off the big smoking gun in Iceland - we Me74's decided to have our urgent meeting this weekend.

All of us Me74's posted in different corporate offices of the Earth's Inc to collect data had a video conference - we had to switch off our emotional software's lest we loose track.

Seeing the immense devastation all over and then also so many of the Models of various designs of different colors, size, shapes all being defunct and crushed to oblivion, we decided it was time to call HIM and get some answers.

So I was chosen to call and I did call HIM yesterday and here presenting you with the short transcript.

Me: Hello its Me74. Can I talk to God.

Mellisa: (Gods secretary) Hiii I was expecting your call. He knows all about your meeting. I will transfer you to HIM

Me: (scratching my head still looking for that freaking antenna that controls Me) : Ok....Glad to know that.

God: Hello Me74. (straightaway he got bugged) You guys can't follow orders I see. You had to call in spite of me telling you not to.

Me: Sorry about that but you know Why we had to do this and I also saw that you realigned the Wood on Tiger Under the Hood. He is following his earlier orders of following the small balls all over the curves.

God: Ummmm, Yeah. You are wondering Why I am not maintaining my factory Earth Inc and why are there so many shattering upheavals all around making many of my machines defunct. Right?

Me: (stunned) Precisely.

God: Now listen to me carefully without interrupting and once I am done simply hang up without asking further questions. Only answer Yes or No when I ask you- Is that understood?

Me: Yes.

God: Ok first lets talk about the Earth Inc. I had to buy 7 different continents from different galaxies to put them together to make Earth Inc.
So that these stay apart in my desired configuration I have a lifelong contract with Rain God Corp and Evaporo Bros. They take care of the large water bodies on the factory premises. Besides to keep these continents from creaking while they rotate and work I had to buy millions and millions of gallons of Oil from Slippery Nipple Galaxy.
Are you with me?

Me: Yes. (not sure where HE was going with this)

God: So anyways. My biggest design mistake is that I allowed You machines to think. And I can't fix it as the scientist who designed YOU ran away. I have told you about this earlier. Remember?

Me: Yes, something about Saturn buying him out or something like that.

God: Yes, so what YOU guys have done is created machines like cars, planes etc. to simplify your given tasks of doing manual labor in my company. To run these machines YOU are using MY resources by boring holes at various places on Earth Inc. Some of these bigger holes are being made on Man Made Rigs out in the Ocean. Now how stupid can YOU guys get.

Me: What do you mean. I am getting confused.

God: Just like YOU have designed the cars for you comfort and its engine requires OIL to run so does my Machine Earth Inc.
By boring holes you are reducing the high internal pressure that I have been asked to maintain to keep continents afloat and in position.
Then YOU are removing Oil from below the continents creating voids and loosening up the continents.
Besides this the Water is penetrating back into these holes replacing OIL. This reduces the surface pressure I have created to keep the machine intact with the help of Rain God Corp to maintain an equilibrium.

Me: Damn. Never thought about this. In short deficiency of OIL is creating friction thereby making the continents shift thus these upheavals.

God: Exactly. In short you are Fucking with my BIG DESIGN. (angry...never heard his to be this angry)And thus to save the planet I introduced model GORE1 to divert YOUR minds to seek alternative fuel sources and leave my Factory alone.
My stocks are not doing very well currently and I have no resources to got to Slippery Nipple for more OIL or carry out repairs on my Factory Premises.

Me: Aheemm. Ok then what about the Smoking Gun in Iceland.

God: I had told you to follow orders and not ask questions right. (click)

Me: Hello (tap tap tap) Hello. Damn.....lost HIM as always.

(Just as the car designed by US - HIS Earth Inc is composed of many different parts that work well together only with oil that HE has provided - WE have to conserve it soon or else Earth Inc will shake itself to extinction)

Gods Inc VI

This is the sixth write up in this series called Gods Inc. To read the previous stories click on the label on the right.


Due to the dire strait in the world economy and misjudged investments by the God - the program to update us Me74's was on a hold for the past few months.

If you are new reader here - just to catch up. I am a Me74 with 23 others like me that are strewn all over the world - world in this case is EARTH INC - one of the major companies in the God's Inc Portfolio. I have been sent here to simply collect data and not analyze or think and transmit this data so that it allows for research of better machines to be produced in the future. In the past few months due to some bad investments God had to sell of Pluto and some other asteroids in order to collect money to revive Earth Inc. He along with the major corporations of Saturn LLC, Jupiter Megamachines and Mercury Mania - all three major producers of thinking machines - got a stimulus package from the Intergalactic Bank.

So finally due to this stimulus - Me74 - the program that was put on the shelf is resuscitated.

I have started to work in full swing and here is the first piece of data that I am supplying. 51 years ago - God's Inc had partnered with Plastic Metamorphosis Corp, that is situated in the outer rims of galaxy. They had meticulously planned a Highly Effective Entertainment Module called Jackson. Today being his 51st anniversary of implementation - this investment by God seems to have worked fine as many pods that meander on Earth Inc in these part of the factory premises are blaring Jackson's oratory refined sensations over and over again to pay tribute to him. Well my task as usual does not end there - I was to collect data to find out why this Mega Machine disintegrated before its time.

This was a special update that I was wired to when they revived me. The whole machine that plastic Metamorphosis designed for Jackson was working fine. They had designed so that a dark skinned machine slowly metamorphosed into a white skinned machine. They also supplied the necessary parts to change the nasal cavities, the ear lobes, the lips to make it look more realistic. Their program was immaculate baring one glitch - the time line on the program was 50 years and then after that 50 years the machine was supposed to metamorphose into dark skin thus giving it a longevity. At the time of implementation scientist from Plastic Metamorpohsis only had been able to design the first part and at that time GOD because he wanted to gain Industrial Supremacy insisted that they implement Jackson and then take the 50 odd years to research and upgrade him to last another 50 years.

As always once Jackson was implemented and highly successful - GOD became lazy on his payments to Plastic - diverting his funds to more important developments like the Obama1 machine and clearing all the industrial sewage created by Bush 2. Thus Plastic to save its company still sent their agent - the Doc Man to insert the necessary supplements to revive the Jackson - but with lack of funding and disinterest from GOD - the plan was unsuccessful and thus the plug was pulled on Jackson.



You might wonder how I know all this data - usually I am supposed to only transmit. Well when I was in the storage yard waiting to be revived I met a senior analyst - Me61 - we share a drink once in a while and share data.

Since many of the interventions by God had failed for the past few months and his whole Economy was at a stand still - he devised newer modules whereby we machines could interact and collect data - one such module is called Facebook - where I was allowed to intervene for the past few months.

Before writing this I had called the data center of God's Inc. I have found out from Me61 that it is somewhere in a place called Noida in India. Seems that India and another factory next to it called China had been implemented with reproductive machines. It worked wonders whereby these machines have produced 33% of the factory workers for Earth Inc. But again due to insider trading before implementing these machines - God's Inc CEO Satan Killorama - who was responsible for this deal hid the fact from all the investors that these reproductive machines cannot be stopped.

Satan had an idea that once this big investment fails he will dethrone God and take over the control of Earth Inc. But he is laying low because he had not anticipated the big problem his one lie will lead to. Due to 33% of the weight of all the machines is on one side of the Earth Inc property - vast resources have to be sent there for their survival - all this has led to tremendous weight on one side thus changing the tilt of the Earth Inc property.

Earth Inc was designed with a 23 degrees tilt to the rotate around Furnace Sun - to give ample rest to its machines in a period of 12 hour cycles. Also infused in it were weather and seasons modules for the machines development. But due to this weight gain the tilt is now 23.5 degrees and thus has created a chaotic situation aptly called the Green Revolution - Green is the color of the extra money that Satan made by hiding the facts.

Buzzz.....damn I have been called for a special teleconference. I will have to take a leave and interact later - that is if they suddenly dont shelf us again.

God's Inc (GI) -3

I have had two earlier conversations with GOD'S INC.
Transcripts of which can be found here. (they are a bit long but precursor to this talk - these were written when I did not have a reader base - if possible read them)
God's Inc - 1 (September 2007)
God's Inc -2 (November 2007)

It is almost 3 months - finally I was able to pay off all my holiday bills - so decided to call God's Inc again. (they dont have a toll free 800 number!!) Also due to the Christmas Holidays, God's Inc had doubled the price on the call for December to reduce the frivolous calls for stupid gadjets people wanted. They had to take this drastic step as HIS model Santa -11, serving this part of the world during Christmas, had contacted arthritis.
(Dialed the number. After the customary chosing 1 then 3 then finally four....the customer service rep picked up the phone)
Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, ME-74, this is Manish. How may I help you today?

Me: (Surprised) How do you know its me and isnt that an Indian Name?

GI Rep: Sir, we have your phone number on the record and God's Inc have hired Bee Pro to outsource and answer their calls.

Me: (WTF - even God Outsources) Oh Ok.

GI Rep: I see you have interacted twice before. Also from the last transcript I see that you alongwith 11 other ME-74 were upgraded for the Green Design. How do you find the changes.
Me: Well (thinking - I know he is testing me - I transmit the data and he already knows it - again looking for that elusive antenna for the umpteenth time - so I play along) for starters I feel pure and energetic, have had good food supplements and am trying to use energy efficient design modules.
(A loud siren in the background and hush hush noise)

GI Rep: Well, sorry to interupt but, can I put you on a hold.

Me: (as if I had a choice - and I was witnessing chaos as GOD's Inc) Sure.....(I waited for almost almost 10 mins -this is going to be an expensve call)

GI Rep: Sorry we had an emergency, there was a bunch of people who were decommisioned in Iraq. We has to take care of their soul inputs back into our system and so the siren.

Me: What do you mean - people killed by another suicide bomber. (I was a little sad)

GI Rep: Sir, since you are a model that can only transmit data and not act on your own congnizance - let me share some fascinating information today.

Me: Wow, I was feeling privileged.

GI Rep: You know that there are constant calamities happening on earth in the past few years. There was a WTC Tragedy, Tsunami, Bomb Blasts all over the world, Earthquakes...

Me: Yeah, terrible and so many people died - I hope no one of my 24 ME-74's were killed

GI Rep: Well no, all the ME-74 were positioned appropriately to avert any such incidences. But the thing is what you think as a tragedy is basically HIS way of decommisioning old, derilict, useless or faulty models. Sometimes due to lack of time some good models are also decommisioned.

Me: Means ( I was getting confused at this point )

GI Rep: See, to make your life easy, GOD borrowed the technology from Galaxy Automubuloma. They sent their best technicians who work in big coglomerates manufacturing cars, disguised as earthlings. So if there is some problem in the car, then the manufacturers recall that part and replace it or sometimes decommision it. Similarly HE has to do this from time to time. What he does is get the programmers to make these "extra" earthlings to gather at a place and decommisions them at a time by infusing some natural or man made event.

Me: But why in such a tragic manner?

GI Rep: See when GOD leased this planet Earth from Galaxy Inc - the lease says that no more than 7 billion models can inhabit it at a given time. So HE has to take these drastic measures.
Me: So, you are telling me, that these tragedies are planned. (damn). But then why did HE infuse this emotional gadjet in us. Why do we feel sad?

GI Rep: Well that is where the problem is. When earthlings were being designed - there was a brilliant engineer Emostein - who designed these two gadjets. One for the male earthlings and one for the female. Both have subtle differences.

Me: So then why cant he reprogram and RECALL the gadjet - so that atleast we dont feel this pain

GI Rep: Well its all corporate politics. Due to certain early faulty designs like the Mussolini-1, Hitler-1 and Stalin-Jr, stock of God's Inc dropped. Seeing its great potential, Saturn Corp wanted to buy the earth. In an effort to avert control of HIS company, HE traded Emostein to Saturn Corp.

Me: So are you telling me there are more ME's like me on Saturn.

GI Rep: That is exclusive information, I cant divulge. Well so in short Emostein took his programs with him and GOD was stuck with these dual emotional gadjets that he cant recall.

Me: Well, ok....(did not know what to say here). My credit is almost getting over. Just one more question.

GI Rep: Go on...

Me: As discussed last time, Bush-2 will be decommisioned, but why this neck to neck battle of Clinton-2 and Obama-1.

GI Rep: Well that again ME-74 is classified information. In time to come you will see his MasterPlan.

Me: Ok...then, Manish, hope all is well in India.

GI Rep: Yes it is. As usual do not divulge this information to anyone. Thank you for calling God's Inc. (click!!!)

Me: As if I have control over it.

Mikes "Lights"

c:Hey Mike, whats all this smoke in your room. Have you been smoking all this while.
Why dont you open the freaking windows.

m:Stop ceedy, dont. She will vanish. Close the door quick.

c:(with a puzzled look on his face)Vanish, who, where, WHAAAAT?
I cant stand here dude - here is your carton of marlboro lights

m:Ohhh thanks man, how was your India trip.

c:It was great as usual, but it seems you are in some sort of a mess. Wheres Tracy?

m:She is the one who will vanish again.

c:(now i always thought mike was cookie but did not expect him to turn delirious in a matter of two weeks) Dude did she finally leave you for good!!!!

m:Yes man, she did physically but her smoky ghost is all over my room (smiling). Every time I take a ciggy puff, my mind gets Light, I breath her presence in me. She travels the annals of my mind, touches every vein and purifies it, my eyes start to twinkle, the lips are wrapped around her. Then I let her out, slowly, I see her apparition, those penetrating eyes, the cute face, that sultry figure, the silken hair, her inviting arms.....(he kept on going)

c:Dude yes but why all the smoke - you let her out of your system, why not out of the room (I could not beleive that I was actually agreeing to his whole story and giving him suggestions)

m:No man, I cant let her go so easily, the smoke forms her visions, she dissapears and reappears in different forms. I am wrapped by her presence. I miss her physically but will not let her leave this room.

c:Ok, I am tired, will talk to you later.
(Later lying on my bed I kicked myself - had I got Mike 400 sticks of pain or pleasure - or to be more precise almost 4500 forms of Tracy's Ghost)

An Honest Attempt

If you have not read my last post Me and Mrs. Muller - 32 Days, please do so before reading this post.

http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/12/me-and-mrs-muller.html

First of all it is a work of fiction - so nobody died.
I did not try to confuse anyone - just was experimenting with a style of writing.

Explanation of what I was trying to accomplish:

Some time back had seen a movie Memento (Imdb Link).
Here is the WIKIPEDIA Link that explains the concept of the movie - it unfolds in two seperate narratives one moving forward in black and white and one in reverse chronological order in color.
So similarly I attempted to write a story The way we are trained we like to read the book in a sequence or an artical from top to bottom. This post tries to play with that notion.
If interested there is also a philosophical movement "Deconstruction"(Wikipedia Link) based on similar principles.

I specifically used two colors - Black for narrative for Ceedy and red for narrative of Mrs. Muller.

The Story actually starts in the second paragraph - you read all the alternate RED PARAGRAPHS till you reach the end. Then you start reading the second last paragraph in BLACK as you move upwards till you come to the start of the story.

The First paragraph is actually the END of the story and the last paragraph is the MIDDLE of the story.

The disjointed nature of each three lines is because they happen at different times in the over a period of 32 days - where each of them depicts a feeling or an idea that is important and pertinent.

Hope this helps.

Me and Mrs. Muller-32 Days

Where is Mrs. Muller? Maria
She is dead. Taken aback I dropped the gift.
What do you mean she is dead

Hey Maria make a sandwich for Ceedy
And a coffee for me
I am feeling tired with all these painkillers

This is going to make her happy I thought
Tommorow I will gift it to her
I am happy to lighten her pain and suffering

I wish my kids were here today
Sam might come to meet me for New Years
I will be able to see him finally in a month.

She feels I am her son!!! going by the note
This digital photo frame will make her happy.
Maybe I can click pictures of Maria and café and gift it to her

I love this garlic shrimp: Maria you are a darling
Love to come here and meet everyone
Helps me forget my loneliness

The note read : Sorry young man
I fell in the bathroom yesterday, could not sit longer
See you Monday morning Son!!!

Ceedy is late today, maybe caught up at work – its Friday before the weekend.
I cant sit anymore, this pain is unbearable
Give this note to him Maria - See you all on Monday

God's Inc (GI) - 2

On September 14 of this year I had a call made to Customer Service at God's Inc.

The transcript of the previous talk can be found here (http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/09/gods-inc-gi.html).

Yesterday following up on that call - I got a call back from GI Rep. Last time I was speaking to Travis - a rather stern character. Today my luck I was talking to a chirpy Stacy - something was not feeling right (a hunch)

GI Rep (Stacy) : ME-74 this is Stacy, calling on behalf of God's Inc. How are you doing today, hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Me: Yes, thank you (in my mind cut the chase tell me the reason for you call fast.....)

GI Rep: I see that you had called a few weeks back and had asked to see if any peripherals were available to upgrade your model ME-74. At that time when you called we were having a secret research going on and did not want to leak out the news. So GOD told you that there is no upgrade availaible.

Me: OK..... (So even GOD lies. Hmmmmm)

GI Rep: As you are aware that we have been constantly monitoring data coming from you and are happy that you have been selected alongwith 11 others out of the total 24 in your design group.
(started again poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)
This upgrade is to make you fellow ME -74's compliant with the future research that we are going to conduct here.

Me: Why are you asking for my consent this time - why like last time am I not told that I am simply designed to transmit data.

GI Rep: This again is confidential data that we cannot divulge. Let me go through the process and you will understand. Tonight post Thanksgiving dinner at 9.30 please go to the balcony and face East. Close your eyes and tap your head three times. We will then start the process of upgrading your database.

Me: Ok....as if I had a choice. (just to be smart) Stacy, thats your name right?

GI Rep: Yes

Me: What if I dont go to the balcony? What then.

GI rep: Sir you are aware that these design desicions are not in your hand. We implement the entire program. Here is what can happen if you dont comply. Thanksgiving dinner is as you know heavy and you will have had wine. You will start to feel nauseous and caustrophobic whereby the only option for you is to be on the balcony outside. Also we will activate the code for severe headache whereby you will have no option but to tap your head. So in short simply just comply.

Me: Ok (damn - why did I open my mouth. Now I understand why this polite girl is talking to me today - Marketing man, marketing - hope she is as hot as she sounds :))

GI Rep: So the update is based on the current technological advances implemented by an Intelligent Design Model Gore-1. We are trying to make Me-74's green and energy efficient. This way the data collected from you will help us design a better versions of Green Models and updates for the ME85-95 derived from you.

Me: Ok. Is there anything special that I will have to do.

GI Rep: No dont worry. Everything has been taken care off. You will do exactly as planned.

Me: Hmpfffff. Ok. Hope it is an useful update. ( I have limited control as I was made to understand before)

GI Rep: Tommorow then we will forward you the relevant documents that you can email back to us - have to make sure that there are no bugs and the upgrade was sucessful.

Me: Ok, thank you, will do as PROGRAMMED. (again I felt all quesy and started to look for that stupid antenna)

GI Rep: And by the way you are not supposed to divulge any information that you email back to us to fellow ME. We understand that you have started a BLOG.

Me: Yeah I kinda know, secret right and if I dont comply I will get a flash and will loose part of my current memory and........Oh!!! One more question, last time you mentioned that you guys were figuring out what went wrong with Bush-2, can I know if there was any progress.

GI Rep: Sorry again confidential, but be assured that we are upgrading and constantly reprogramming Clinton-2 and Obama-1 so that everything comes back to normal. Also we are looking into the possible recommisioning of GORE-1 to head the state as his work to implement Green Design is almost over.

Me: Ok, Thank you. I feel good as there is hope and maybe then my being reprogramed will make sense.

GI Rep: Have a nice day. (Click)

(just sitting here wondering - there are some obvious signs on me after this upgrade, but I cant divulge - GOD's INC gives us all the necessary programs and operating systems but it is left upon us to make them useful and if you stray you stand a chance of being decommisioned)

Gods Inc (GI)

(Ringing, Ringing.....Choices, pressed 1 then 3 then 4 finally....my turn to talk to customer service representative from God's Inc.....Am on hold......(this message will be recorded for new born integration purposes).....waiting...click)

Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, this is Travis from God's Inc. How may I help you today....

Me: Hi, I have a question regarding ME, have some operating problems.

GI Rep: Sir, before we proceed I would like you to confirm certain things....

(He goes on to confirm my dad's, mom's name and place of birth - he gets my record in their database @ God's Inc.)

GI Rep: Ok sir, now what seems to be the problem

Me: I need to upgrade my operating system and memory to relate to other people.

GI Rep: Let me check your record sir....will be with you in a minute (puts me on a hold)

GI Rep: Sir, the model that ME-74 is built of is an experimental model. There are only 25 such models that were designed by Mr. God. Right now all those models are functional and active in different servers of the world. ME-74 are not allowed to upgrade or have any changes.

Me: Hold on, so you are telling me I am a Guinea Pig. A mouse !!!!!!!!

GI Rep: I cant say that sir, after we all are still HIS creation, but I do beleive that in your case it is somewhat like that.

Me: Damn, no wonder then I cannot proceed with simple daily functions as I am still primitive in my actions while all other BIOSes have been upgraded. Is there anyway I can attach a peripheral device to enhance what I have atleast instead of replacing it.

GI Rep: Sir, I am sorry that cannot help you. You are put there to undergo certain life events that we are monitoring constantly. The data received from you and 24 others put in different servers helps us design the future parts. ME 85-95 are ungraded versions of ME-74 and you mignt find them to be congrous to you but not similar.

Me: So without my consent I am helping others while I cant be helped. I have to undergo this trecherous journey without any respite from the INC.

GI Rep: Sir, I dont think you have a right to give a consent, you are programmed to transmit the data.

Me: (started poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)

Me: So you are saying that virtually I have no warranty whatsoever on any of ME-74. It is a limited edition experimental model. So is there any possibility of ME-74 getting any help to make things a little easier.

GI Rep: Sorry sir, but you are an absolute. You were derived from experiments of ME58-68. And are an advanced version of those but a primitive version of the current. The only way you can get upgraded is that one of the other 24 ME is deactivated and their parts are reattached to you. But currently you are going through a phase where you might be shipped to a different server from the one where you were first transplanted and so are the others.

Me: Now I started to feel oblique. I am special but at the same time I am common. What luck!!!!!! So I will go, but is there any way I can leave a message for Mr. GOD.

GI rep: Sir you are lucky as he is in the office today, trying to figure out what went wrong with the model BUSH-2. He is in a meeting with the engineers to see how to decommision this model or atleast change its system. Hold on let me get him for you.

Me: Whoa.....I was going to talk with the master himself.....man I started sweating and became nervous. (after a long pause)

GOD: Hi, ME-74, this is the master speaking. You wanted to tell me something.

Me: In a fit of nervousness, yes Sir, I just wanted to thank you for this journey on earth but wanted to ask you why was I chosen for the experiment.

GOD: First of all, I appreciate you thanks. Dont despair though, atleast you have a journey that is exciting. There are many rejects in my office here. There is no special picking of you, it was random. So enjoy it while you can or else I will have to decommision you.

Me: No, its fine, now I know my place in this whole wide big world. I will carry on this exciting journey and keep transmitting you data to design a better ME in the future. (again I fidgited with myself to see if there is any probe on ym body)

GOD: Great, have a wonderful life and please dont hesitate to call us if you have any doubts or questions. Click.......

(If you like this fictional writing you will surely enjoy the movie The Truman Show)