Gods Inc (GI)

(Ringing, Ringing.....Choices, pressed 1 then 3 then 4 finally....my turn to talk to customer service representative from God's Inc.....Am on hold......(this message will be recorded for new born integration purposes).....waiting...click)

Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, this is Travis from God's Inc. How may I help you today....

Me: Hi, I have a question regarding ME, have some operating problems.

GI Rep: Sir, before we proceed I would like you to confirm certain things....

(He goes on to confirm my dad's, mom's name and place of birth - he gets my record in their database @ God's Inc.)

GI Rep: Ok sir, now what seems to be the problem

Me: I need to upgrade my operating system and memory to relate to other people.

GI Rep: Let me check your record sir....will be with you in a minute (puts me on a hold)

GI Rep: Sir, the model that ME-74 is built of is an experimental model. There are only 25 such models that were designed by Mr. God. Right now all those models are functional and active in different servers of the world. ME-74 are not allowed to upgrade or have any changes.

Me: Hold on, so you are telling me I am a Guinea Pig. A mouse !!!!!!!!

GI Rep: I cant say that sir, after we all are still HIS creation, but I do beleive that in your case it is somewhat like that.

Me: Damn, no wonder then I cannot proceed with simple daily functions as I am still primitive in my actions while all other BIOSes have been upgraded. Is there anyway I can attach a peripheral device to enhance what I have atleast instead of replacing it.

GI Rep: Sir, I am sorry that cannot help you. You are put there to undergo certain life events that we are monitoring constantly. The data received from you and 24 others put in different servers helps us design the future parts. ME 85-95 are ungraded versions of ME-74 and you mignt find them to be congrous to you but not similar.

Me: So without my consent I am helping others while I cant be helped. I have to undergo this trecherous journey without any respite from the INC.

GI Rep: Sir, I dont think you have a right to give a consent, you are programmed to transmit the data.

Me: (started poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)

Me: So you are saying that virtually I have no warranty whatsoever on any of ME-74. It is a limited edition experimental model. So is there any possibility of ME-74 getting any help to make things a little easier.

GI Rep: Sorry sir, but you are an absolute. You were derived from experiments of ME58-68. And are an advanced version of those but a primitive version of the current. The only way you can get upgraded is that one of the other 24 ME is deactivated and their parts are reattached to you. But currently you are going through a phase where you might be shipped to a different server from the one where you were first transplanted and so are the others.

Me: Now I started to feel oblique. I am special but at the same time I am common. What luck!!!!!! So I will go, but is there any way I can leave a message for Mr. GOD.

GI rep: Sir you are lucky as he is in the office today, trying to figure out what went wrong with the model BUSH-2. He is in a meeting with the engineers to see how to decommision this model or atleast change its system. Hold on let me get him for you.

Me: Whoa.....I was going to talk with the master himself.....man I started sweating and became nervous. (after a long pause)

GOD: Hi, ME-74, this is the master speaking. You wanted to tell me something.

Me: In a fit of nervousness, yes Sir, I just wanted to thank you for this journey on earth but wanted to ask you why was I chosen for the experiment.

GOD: First of all, I appreciate you thanks. Dont despair though, atleast you have a journey that is exciting. There are many rejects in my office here. There is no special picking of you, it was random. So enjoy it while you can or else I will have to decommision you.

Me: No, its fine, now I know my place in this whole wide big world. I will carry on this exciting journey and keep transmitting you data to design a better ME in the future. (again I fidgited with myself to see if there is any probe on ym body)

GOD: Great, have a wonderful life and please dont hesitate to call us if you have any doubts or questions. Click.......

(If you like this fictional writing you will surely enjoy the movie The Truman Show)


relations said...


that metaphorical conversation was awesome..
hahaha. guinea pig..
is there something special with 74..

apaksh said...

To me it’s a fantastic way of putting across an old thought or an experience which all Makes (models) at some point or the other during their service period would have undergone. Whether did they ever felt the necessity or ever got the opportunity to wire up with GOD Inc. in seeking the resolution is something which can only be know to that particular Make.

Among so many of them, there is one very interesting Chip that GOD Inc. has successfully planted in all of its Makes is the Chip of Observation and Evolution. The Chip is responsible for taking care of all future need of every system by making a note of the situation the system is experiencing and reprogramming the system for similar or contrasting situations.

Systems designed by GOD Inc have always been capable of dealing with adversities and make a way out of some of the most challenging situations they face. An excellent illustration is presented in the movie Cast Away, awesome work by Tom Hanks.

There are so many of them of different Makes situated in same Server Farm, it is no wonder that there are some times challenges related to network congestion and multiplex communication between the systems. A better Broadband will always have helped, but there is always a give and take of something or the other. If the system is placed in a Server Farm with better connectivity then there are challenges related to some of its primary, secondary or other programs running in parallel. If the connectivity is not that good then there is an opportunity for a backup program to show its wonders.

To the crux of it, every system has to undergo its due service period no matter in which Server Farm it is situated in and no matter how functional or non-functional it primary, secondary and backup programs are. So sit back and enjoy the ride...

Keshi said...

**keep transmitting you data to design a better ME in the future

loved that line!

Brilliant Ceedy!


Anonymous said...

waow! Ceedy, I guess there are so many posts I should come and read... they are intelligent and thought provoking..!

So we have to transmit waves for making better and better advanced MEs.

hmm! thats the basic rule I guess.. and thats the law of nature.. and we unknowingly are sending out signals... you are sending them out through your blog, for people like me to grasp and be better ;)

Tirzah said...

Good post.