20081103

Gods Inc - V : Pause

This is part of an ongoing series - I have had 4 earlier calls made to Gods Inc that can be read here.
Its been a while since I called HIM at his office but I had collected a whole lot of data (I am model ME74 - a data collecting model sent to Earth Corp by HIM) that needed analysis and cross checking.
Me : (Dialing)....fifth attempt...keep getting the message to wait and hear the soft music.....not appealing when you are disturbed.
Operator: Hello, Me74, How may I help you? A sweet sultry voice was on the other end. I have a feeling that again something bad is going to happen. Its only then such enticing voices are heard from HIS office.
Me: How come you know who I am? This hasn't happened before? and May I know who I am talking to?
Oksana: I am Okasan from the Decommisioning/Refurbhishing department and as always WE know everything. We have our ways - remember the outing you were foced to go out in the storm and when the lightening struck in front of you.
Me : Ok...(bloody hell and I thought I was sloppy) Well I have few questions - are you the right person to ask them to?
Oksana : Yes and I am ready to take down those questions. Go ahead.
Me: (again they know or rather HE knew) Ok here I go. First Where is HE? Does HE have a gambling problem? Has he been hedging against his own corporation? Has HE been smoking pot? ( I spoke in an exasperated tone)
Oksana : Why do you ask such a question?
Me: Look whats going around here on Earth Corp. Money is being siphoned off somewhere - nobody knows where. There is chaos and fear all over - crime, terrorism, bomb blasts - people are scared and HE seems to be nowhere. Everyone is doubting that the Chief is absconding.
Oksana : Ok what else? (Absolutly nonchalant at my exasperation - as if HE does not care)
Me: Why is he playing with peoples psyche? After the unsuccesful attemp of installing Bush-2 and then raising hopes with Clinton-2, HE has installed McCain-1 and Palin-1 against Obama-1. Today is the day when you have made the inconsequentials all around this American LLC go and cast their hopes. Is it going to be YES WE CAN or SAME OLD SAME OLD.
Oksana: Noted, anything else? (This attitude makes me feel Why am I bothering asking these questions - HE already has planned everything - but the problem is that I CANT help it - I am also programmed to ASK today- damn)
Me: And lastly Why do you give people emotions? Why install this virus in many of us - Why cant you get a fix for this bug. Cant everyone just be logical?
Oksana: ME74, I think I have to transfer you to HIM. You are asking questions beyond what I was told you will ask. Maybe the UNNERve.EXE bug was accidently installed in you.
Me: (again i check the back of my head and look for signs of the antenna) Ok...
(Music ensues and Def Leppards song "Lets get rocked" starts playing)
I am thinking to myself - is this a joke - here I am asking serious questions and HE wants me to party - or is this what HE is doing right now and thats why GODS INC is suffering.

GOD : Hello ME74, long time. Things are fine. I KNOW. You are not doing very well. I KNOW and I read your questions. As we have discussed before and you have been told - THIS IS MY COMPANY - I will do what I wish - you were supposed to just collect data and transmit it - not interact with other Earthlings. You asked if I was gambling - HELL YEAH - we had an inter planetary BlackJack competetion - I have been winning for years but this year because of visiting Earth and inhaling all those obnoxious green gases - it affected me - and I bet on something which I lost - so to recover I kept betting - and had to lease parts of my Earth Inc. Thus you see all the money being evaporated from all my different companies on Earth.
Me:Ok so then we should not worry. You will take care of this situation. And I hope that your model Obama-1 wins today.
GOD: Dont jump the gun. I have it all planned. The Earthlings have become complacent and need a jolt. I am shaking them in all the possible ways - those who survive will have fun - those who complain like you are will be directed to the Decommisioning/Refurbishing department.
Me: (I knew HE has planned it - no wonder I was directed to this department - just then I realized and asked) So....wait...am I being Decommisioned?
GOD : Well you have done your work well till now - so I am just going to clean your RAM and give you some rest and upgrade your system. Then you will be on probation for a period.
Me: Ahem....(just then my head started to itch - I touched that portion and was feeling a wave escaping my head). Are you doing it this instant? I asked?
GOD: Good bye - my next wager is on. I am betting on Haileys comet to strike two stars. You wont hear me in few minutes. If you do survive your workload as a normal earthling - I will reconsider you again for this job.
Me: I was being LAID OFF by HIM - damn! (My head was reeling and I said) Hello! Hello!
Click!
I looked at my phone - and looked around. Why and who was I talking to at this hour?
___________________________________________________________
As decided by Gods Inc. - I will be away for a month going to homeland passing through Homeland Security here. See you guys back in December - that is if I do get recommisioned.

32 comments:

brocasarea said...

liked the money part..looks like bruce almighty:D

carolinagal said...

Oh no!!! You are leaving as well :(

Sorry to hear that you have been de-commisioned.

singlendacity89 said...

Hey I am missing ya already! I loved how you played this out in the post!

Have a great time and I know you will be back soon! and check your mail! DON'T FORGET!

See you later and DON'T have any blonde MOMENTS!

NE

Pavi!!!! said...

yayeeeee! for the 1st time..i u'stood ur God's Inc post the 1st time i read it.

have my fingers crossed for americans to make the right decision today!

n oh..ur goin to india..mumbai....home!Have loadssssssss of fun!n eat plenty of chaat on behalf of me!

Satish Bolla said...

aha, pretty good excuse to escape from Bloggerville. good good. anyways, nice piece of creativity here. lage raho

Veens said...

ok cool - :)

I am also taking a break and i will be away till JAN :)

i m getting decommissioned as u knw from my single status ;)

well take care..

hope u r back soon :)

R3d3MpTioN said...

brilliant post mate...

Cinderella. said...

You what I loved about this post ? Not the yet another excitng episde you created..followign your succesful stints on Gods Inc like beafore....rather the way you spun the yarn, using life's own thread around life's own wheel.

I really really hope and believe that the recommision will happen.

All the luck.

Hiren said...

Me74 ... this is Me80 here ... looking forward to meet yaa this weekend in Bomb-bay ... would be glad to hear more of your inferences from the Earth Corp analysis .....

and yea ... your unnerve.exe will surely be quarantined here back in the homeland corp ....


have a nice n safe flight back home dude ...

rantravereflect/ jane said...

wowwww :) loved this piece.. kickarse!!

get recommsissioned soon!n in the meanwhile, have ya fair share of homeland babes, food n marriage alliances :)

loved the blackjack n the hailey's comet strike--> bwuahhhh, God sure must be having such agood time fleecing his favorite division of earth corp; n it's a great diversionary tactic putting obama 1 in: people things 'things are gonna change' just cos the color of skin did.. well, he's one slick head...

KP said...

enjoy the break! Have fun in motherland! I wish i can go to india!

Ameircans have made the right decision:)

Aneesh said...

Interesting style of writing..
You do have a lot of variety..
Keep up
:)

Joy said...

Very interesting post. You are going on vacation to India. Have fun in Mumbai!! See you back in Dec.Things should go fine....

Prats said...

hugs

And I hope the homeland gives you some good memories to take back....but get on and write...or else...

joiedevivre said...

written vey well!

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

God has left this place long before....it is now a junkyard bhai...

and like always ...it was wonderful...was missing it for long time..glad u took out time for the number v in the series.....

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

And good luck........Bhai..

u can count me in wen the time of needs come...

love n carez

CяŷştąŁ said...

I agree with brocas..
I felt the same!

And good luck,CD!
Do well

(PS-you didn't check my 50th..mentioned yu..)

Still thinking said...

You sure have gr8 contacts!!! I'll have you put a word for me w/ HIM someday :)
Have a good trip back home dear and look forward to reading you soon...

Stupidosaur said...

Welcome and best of luck!

Impressionist said...

that was done well man!
take a break and be back soon!

-I

KP said...

looks like u r having heck of good time in india:). better bring something for me from india dude:)

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

Cool Cool.. as always :-)

debasish.. said...

twas so much fun reading this. Not jus fun...it was F.U.N that made me think too :D

How come every1 at blogger is taking a break!
Come soon yaa
:)

Vandita said...

Blog updated and url changed to this.
Will come back later to read and comment.

CяŷştąŁ said...

Where have you been for so darn long,man? :O

Pri said...

i think ur gonna have company in the Decommisioning/Refurbishing department..sigh!
heyy btw am really shocked ur cell phone catches signal good enough to call up 'gods inc' ;)
some conspiracy from his side is it??hmmmm....
(jus kidding! :D)

hope u having a great time in india

Satish Bolla said...

aur kitne din rahoge udhar, mere bhai?

Stupidosaur said...

So were are you?
Likho bhai kuchhh!

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Hey I came back and you going there now :)

Have a great trip and hope you get recommissioned.Take care.

Satish Bolla said...

chintan bhai, is everyone of ur friends n family OK in mumbai? u r one of few mumbaikars i know in bloggerville. hope everyone is ok

Zubin said...

first time here...first time I read such a post...and its..damn good...

reminds me of that movie..bruce almighty.. :D