20080817

Movie Bhankas + Ambrosia Experiments

Bhankas : marathi word, meaning useless talk. (Source Urban Dictionary)
Have you seen some of these new Hindi/Indian movies. All the filmi magazines, websites and news talk about is - how good/bad/atrocious these productions are. People concentrate and critique on acting, direction, songs, dances and the stars.
But here are some news related to these movies that we will possibly never see or hear about.

1) Take movies like Om Shanti Om where Shahrukh covorted with the young Deepika Padukone or a southern movie like Shivaji where Rajnikant frolicked with his Shriya 35 years younger to him. We heard a lot of gaga about their performances and worldwide earnings etc etc.
Here are some news that we did not get to read:
These movies resulted in uplifting (pun intended) practices of plastic surgeons/cosmetic surgeons /cosmetic dentistry.
Products like Viagra, 30+, Zandu Chyawanprash (products to uplift any tired appendages), Anoop Hair Oil (to make Bald - Beautiful), Boost (supposedly was THE SECRET of Kapils and Tendulkars energy) and the ubiquitous soap LifeBouy (their slogan tandurusti hai jahaan LifeBouy hai wahan - where there is good health you will find LifeBouy) have shown a big increase in their annual sales.


2) Saw God Tussi Great Ho yesterday- a blatant copy of an excellent English Movie Bruce Almighty. The copying ends at the concept stage itself - other than that the movie is just another Bollywood masala film. You will hear in the coming weeks about how this movie fared - whether people liked it or no - but here is some news that we might never read about.
In the movie Salman's character is of a perpetual loser with a capital "L" - and he keeps looking up to the sky to talk to HIM - the God portrayed by Amitabh and ask him WHY is he THE chosen one?. Audiences all over after seeing the movie , walking out of the theaters - looked up towards the sky and asked in unision BUT WHY - AAKHIR KYON - you allowed such a movie to be made - What had WE ALL done to Deserve this????? WTF "God!!!" - sholdn't he retire than tire us with flops. (not talking about HIM here)


3) Another one of Salman's recent movies - Partner - which resurrected the flagling career of Govinda. It also stars his current girlfriend Katrina Kaif. It was an interesting movie - again a blatant copy of the English Movie Hitch. It suposedly did very well and songs were peppy - overall obtained a good review. But one piece of information that was not shared.
Salman who plays a Love Guru in the film - advising one and all on "How to talk to girls" - has actually flown to Los Angeles to seeked advice from the real Love Guru - Will Smith - as every "love" in his life seems to slip away sooner or later.


4) Hrithik recently had a cameo dance number in Krazzy4 - a movie that should never have been made in the first place and the fight scene with the elephant in Jodhaa Akbar. Both movies have their own critiques and reviews. Here is his condition after those movies that we did not hear about.
Post these movies, Hrithiks trainer and physio found that his body structure is askew. Build up of muscles had hardened his body - and with this springing and jumping and shaking - the muscles have taken severe beating. His agents thought having his advertise for MOOV or IODEX but he refused. Thus his long absence from the silver screen.



5) Take a low budget multiplex movie like Aamir - The film revolves around a young Muslim man Dr. Aamir Ali who has returned to Mumbai from United Kingdom and finds himself at the mercy of religious extremists who want to carry out a bombing in the city. Even this movie had some interesting sidekick.
The extremists compiled a directory of all doctors and professionals they planned to eventually target both at home and abroad. A smart medical insurance company approached them -saying this will save costs for them to compile such a list. In exhange for this data - this company will provide free underground insurance to the extremists and their families. Clauses though in the contract include - only those injuries when carry out listed extremists activites will be covered. There will be no death benifit - as most of them are going to die in their chosen project. They instead have a survival benifit. Also accidental shooting, chopping off fingers sharpening blades, injured during target practice and other such incidences are not covered.



6) Akshay Kumar new movie Singh is Kingg - here he invoked love for the motherland in fellow Sikhs stationed in Australia. At the end of the movie these Sikhs who are underworld mafia - are converted to good guys who return back to Punjab their homeland. So far so good - but here is a weird outcome.
Punjab government has decided to sue Akshay and the producers. Because of this film many Sikhs all around the world are heading back to Saada Punjab - thus resulting in utter chaos. "Leftover Sardars" stereotyped as being desi blondes...cannot handle incoming traffic of smart sikhs from overseas. The government proclaims that it was easier to rule the really dumb ones that were left behind - now these returnee batch is creating all sorts of problems. Also there was a drop in sale all items related to migrants moving out of Punjab plus the incoming foreign investments also showed a decline.



7) Lastly Aamir Khan's Taare Zameen Par - was much acclaimed and made an overnight star out of Darsheel - who plays the role dyslexic kid Ishaan. This movie did wonders and opened up eyes of parents and teachers - invoking sensitivity towards kids who have this condition or any other medical condition. We heard all kinds of wah-wah's for Aamir and the movie but here is something which was kept away from us.
Ishaan had become a cult figure for young kids all over the country. Suddenly there are many kids who are showing signs of some condtion or the other. Kids now have a secret formula - whereby they know behaving like Ishaan - they can bunk school, can avoid homework, gain sympathy by emotionally blackmailing both parents and teachers. Students suddenly have united where they have their own timetable of which batch of student shows which condition when.
Damn how I wish this movie was released when I was a Kid!!!


So these are some insider news - maybe there are many more - but since they are not published I might have not heard them. If you have any please feel free to share them.

Also this shows that pathetic level of Bollywood films - and even though I know they are going to suckbig time - I still end up watching them hoping to get entertained sometime.
Maybe they have some kind of magic sound in their music which plays in the background and is common to all movies - kinda a bollywood jingle - that hypnotizes and mesmerizes us to go again and again.....

____________________________________________________________________

And now two recipes served so far on Ambrosia by the fellow cookers experimented on Sunday evening by me.

Irani Chai w/Biscuits (These are not Osmania biscuits as mentioned on the post but a replacement tea biscuits). I have a wekaness for brewed tea - an addition from architeture days when we used to gulp it by liters. Irani chai tastes awesome with Maska Pau (Buttered roll) soaked in the tea. The taste of salty butter and the sweet tea is really exotic. (Butter has to be Amul)

Cheese Corn Kartoffel (Modified the recipe by adding finely chopped green peppers and chopped baby carrots in addition to the corn. The soft cheesy buttery sauce with the vegetables crunching against the softly cooked potatoes with a dash of pepper tasted scrumptious.

Wish I could share the fragrance of it online....

51 comments:

Vrij said...

Awesome reviews.. of the movies as well as the food.

Great to see that u enjoyed the chai :)

carolinagal said...

LOL!!
Thanks for these insightful, yet, entertaining reviews.

And the baked potato looks delicious!! Yummy yummy yummy there's love in my tummy :P

Ne said...

OMGOSH!! That food is mouth watering! I love it! You had me at butter! But yet it really kills the hips! haha!

Nice review also! I have never heard of them.. but if I had a chance to watch them I know which ones..

Shauva Tov!

Ne.

๑۩۞۩๑♥V♥๑۩۞۩๑ said...

you should be paid for writing reviews.. :D
bollywood movies are suckers ...that's why i avoid watching them!

irani chai i made too..but didn't get the time to make corn potato one.

u did a good job..looks so yummy ..:)

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

lol

that's why I don waste time of bollywood movies..watched three movies august rush,untraceble and one missed call...this wekkend..all the movies were awesome....but mummy - 3 was a total bakwas..

Abhishek Khanna said...

hehe.. so many movie reviews ..

n yea..
God why did u allow making such a movie

Solitaire said...

Gosh!! What stupid hindi movies are coming out these days. I saw Singh is King a few days ago and banged my head on the wall within a few minutes. And people say they liked it? How and why? Same thing happened with me when I watched Partner!!

Cinderella. said...

LOL !! Bollywood is indeed in such a sorry state of affairs !

The Cheese corn looks yummy !! Since I'm a sucker for tea, will try the chai !

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Ha ha!So much for all the hype movies create.At the end of the day,the silver screen is made of tin.

I am a coffee person but have to try the yummy looking Cheese Corn Kartoffel sometime.

Have a good week!

P.S. Teeny weeny spelling error btw -"wekaness" for brewed tea :)

Hiren said...

bro .. u run a risk of getting attacked by Rajni fans ... you have mis-spelt the title of his grand film ... its Sivaji and not Shivaji ... when u read the antics done by Rajni fans you cannot rule out getting in their bad books by such a blunder ;)

Bollywood is in such a sorry state that now its wise to write a review only when the films good ... else by default they are producing thrash incessantly ... but having said that I end up in (the exorbitant mumbai) multiplexes almost every weekend to get thrashed :)

@ ur culinary experiments ... the tea looks interesting and that too in a glass of glass (tapri side kaach ka gilaas :)) makes it all the more enviable ... sahi hai biddu ... how i wished i had some cooking expert as my roomie when i was in US ... you would have been a wonderful roomie to have :)

carolinagal said...

Hey
Thanks for the awesome comment on Solitaire's name game! It was very cute :)

The Paratrooper said...

I have just seen partner and hitch too and also taree zameen pe... partner is a pathetic movie...speacilly the scene with that rocket and the sppedboat made me want to tear my hair off..

only grude i have agaisnt taree zameen pe is that bahut jyada hi hostel life ganda dikhaya hai shuru me... yeah the kids was not normal..but then... jyada hi sad sad kar idya..parents will not send their children and let them experience the magic that is boarding school!!!

The Paratrooper said...

the way u dtalk about food shows ur p[assion..i mean i dnt drink tea(or coffe) for that matter but then ur mention makes me wanna taste it...cool..!!!

Suma said...

that was an interesting "bhankas' that you shared there...trivia is always welcome :P

and pity u can't package te smell and send it through, the corn is an int recipe to try for the boyz, lemme experiment and get back...

...:)

Aaarti said...

Tres interesente!!!

That Bhankas had me puzzled.. cool trivia!!:)

and neat reviews.. agree with you on the one's i'd seen[skipped partner, God tussi great ho, knowing remakes are gonna be el crappo, n i aint too fond of Sallu]... :D

Hmmmm.. am sipping on hot masala chai and waiting to kick start my day when i thot why not read something interesting n fun before doing that :D
have a fun day!!!

Keshi said...

I hv stopped watching Hindi movies lately, dun ask me why.

OMG all that Cheese looks too rich! :)

Keshi.

Aaarti said...

senor ceedy...
u been tagged ..... :D

Crystal.. said...

Woo..
that cheese thingy is like yum,bro!

Wish I COULD smell it?!

Princess Mia said...

so u tried the kartoffel, yipeeeeeeeeee

good na? i freak over it man....n the pic looks nice too....n like yur variation.

btw u can try mixing sour cream also in the cheese next time hehehe.

btw the irani chai.....i cudnt stop noticing the glass mate....total cutting wala glass hai how did u manage to get that eh....

brocasarea said...

very very good:)))....all collected all those by urself??....TZp thing is damn true!

RADhika said...

this is exactly why i dont wanna watch God tussi... and Partner! dont wanna take out the charm out of the original movie!

oh my god, i was thinking of having a green-diet for few days, and your cheese corn kartoffel made me think twice! :D

ceedy said...

@vrij

thank you...yes did enjoy the chai ;)

ceedy said...

@carolinagal

glad you enjoyed the,....

it was yummy but heavy on the stomach....

ceedy said...

@ne

hahah....well use I dont beleive its butter then...it kills the taste tho...

thank you...do you watch Indian movies?

ceedy said...

@V

Yeah....get me a job then if you know someone :P

thanks and enjoy your meal...

ceedy said...

@daydreamer

I watch holly and bolly and sometime tolly and movies from all over the world....

But hindi movies are the pits...sometimes I watch them to see how bad can one make them


i saw tropic thunder on friday...see it if you get a chance - fucking hilarious....

i have not watched any of the movies mentioned by you...so will catch up with them

ceedy said...

@abhishek

:)

ceedy said...

@solitaire

Agree - hope you insure your head soon...

ceedy said...

@cinderella

Yeah - it is simply getting atrocious day by day...

Ahaaa...sucker for tea - no wonder :)

ceedy said...

@sameera

hahah - agree - yes it is made of tin

well I am a hot beverage person - so anything goes...

you too have a good week and thanks for picking the spelling error

too lazy to go and change it :P

ceedy said...

@hiren

hahha - are dont tell me about rajni - last year when it released one of my rommies
needed a ride to see this - he is mad after Rajni and guess what he paid for my ticket too :P

well we have no choice - TV shows rona dhona and movies shows crap...kare to bhi kya


well besies cooking - presentation is very important - just like when we present a simplest of the building...it has to make the client feel that he is special :)

I have two of these glasses specially for tea :)

and sure - if you ever come to this area you have a treat :)

ceedy said...

@carolinagal

Glad you liked it :)

ceedy said...

@the paratropper

Agree - hindi movies tend to over dramatize simplest of the emotions...

and common people fall for it...

also - there are few things in life I am passionate about - food is one of them...

hope you did taste it

ceedy said...

@suma

cool you liked the bhankas...

well yes real pity..we cant transport the smell

try the recipe and let us know on ambrosia..

did you check that blog - the link is on top right

ceedy said...

@aaarti


kewl you liked the bhankas

and hope you had fun drinking chai

i had fun - hope you had too

and I saw the tag too

ceedy said...

@keshi

Ok I will not ask why :P

and cheese is too rich agree...but then splurging is required once in a while

ceedy said...

@crystal

yes it was yum...

ceedy said...

@princess mia

yeah it was good but a little heavy...

well I go lot of ideas when I made that...surely will try the sour cream...

well like I wrote to Hiren above - its all about presentation - only true bambayaas can identify with it

they were at sale in Ikea - i picked two just for the tea :)

ceedy said...

@brocasarea

I hope you realized this is fictional writing and not true reviews...

I made all this up

ceedy said...

@radhika

yeah dont watch them...not specially when you are at "those" first stages of love :P

you dont want to be irritated...

and yes splurge once - its required :)

KP said...

Wow so much information in this post!

Thanks for all the movie info, atleast now i know whats in theater!

chai...looks good:)

ceedy said...

@kp

hope you relaized that the "news" are hypothetical made up by me - as I was frustrated seeing these movies - that I wrote this post....

and i knew you will bypass the potato :)

KP said...

@ceedy...thanks for the clarification!
I thought u were serious, as u can see my movie knowledge really sucks man!

anything beyond sports is a problem:)

ceedy said...

@kp

I guess the way I wrote this many have thought this is some insider news ai know about...damn no wonder ppl did not comment...

anyways none of this movies is really worth the time except TZP which I know from your post that you have had emotional moments with

rantravereflect/ jane said...

cheese corm kartoffels..
yummmmmmmmmmmm.. n i can semelllll it here,
can ya smell something there?-jealousy!

heeee; i loved allllllll of the kickbacks- they made me fal off the chair---> heeee, esp the taare zzmmen par kids-o-spoil-aia & the singh is king rejoinder--> heeee , i'm doing a cartoon strip on it veryyy soon.. ;)

ciao fellow genieass!

The Paratrooper said...

yes chai and ciggerete was staple food during the three days manipur tour ... baki when back at the academy ..we get milk... thank god for that

Buzzz said...

sir, yeh info bahut sahi he :) worth compilin to archives :P

abreysham said...

great 'insights'!
at the end of the day a Hindi movie is great escapism, and I love them solely for that!

ceedy said...

@jane

ya - I smell the geni ASS burning there...

saw your cartoon strip...that was hilarious :)

ceedy said...

@buzzz

yeah, I have contacted Indian Film Division :P

ceedy said...

@abreysham


Yeah - a great way to escape..agree but how long...one day I will probably strangle someone next to me.....