Movie Bhankas + Ambrosia Experiments

Bhankas : marathi word, meaning useless talk. (Source Urban Dictionary)

Have you seen some of these new Hindi/Indian movies. All the filmi magazines, websites and news talk about is - how good/bad/atrocious these productions are. People concentrate and critique on acting, direction, songs, dances and the stars.

But here are some news related to these movies that we will possibly never see or hear about.

1) Take movies like Om Shanti Om where Shahrukh covorted with the young Deepika Padukone or a southern movie like Shivaji where Rajnikant frolicked with his Shriya 35 years younger to him. We heard a lot of gaga about their performances and worldwide earnings etc etc.

Here are some news that we did not get to read:

These movies resulted in uplifting (pun intended) practices of plastic surgeons/cosmetic surgeons /cosmetic dentistry.

Products like Viagra, 30+, Zandu Chyawanprash (products to uplift any tired appendages), Anoop Hair Oil (to make Bald - Beautiful), Boost (supposedly was THE SECRET of Kapils and Tendulkars energy) and the ubiquitous soap LifeBouy (their slogan tandurusti hai jahaan LifeBouy hai wahan - where there is good health you will find LifeBouy) have shown a big increase in their annual sales.

2) Saw God Tussi Great Ho yesterday- a blatant copy of an excellent English Movie Bruce Almighty. The copying ends at the concept stage itself - other than that the movie is just another Bollywood masala film. You will hear in the coming weeks about how this movie fared - whether people liked it or no - but here is some news that we might never read about.

In the movie Salman's character is of a perpetual loser with a capital "L" - and he keeps looking up to the sky to talk to HIM - the God portrayed by Amitabh and ask him WHY is he THE chosen one?. Audiences all over after seeing the movie , walking out of the theaters - looked up towards the sky and asked in unision BUT WHY - AAKHIR KYON - you allowed such a movie to be made - What had WE ALL done to Deserve this????? WTF "God!!!" - sholdn't he retire than tire us with flops. (not talking about HIM here)

3) Another one of Salman's recent movies - Partner - which resurrected the flagling career of Govinda. It also stars his current girlfriend Katrina Kaif. It was an interesting movie - again a blatant copy of the English Movie Hitch. It suposedly did very well and songs were peppy - overall obtained a good review. But one piece of information that was not shared.

Salman who plays a Love Guru in the film - advising one and all on "How to talk to girls" - has actually flown to Los Angeles to seeked advice from the real Love Guru - Will Smith - as every "love" in his life seems to slip away sooner or later.

4) Hrithik recently had a cameo dance number in Krazzy4 - a movie that should never have been made in the first place and the fight scene with the elephant in Jodhaa Akbar. Both movies have their own critiques and reviews. Here is his condition after those movies that we did not hear about.

Post these movies, Hrithiks trainer and physio found that his body structure is askew. Build up of muscles had hardened his body - and with this springing and jumping and shaking - the muscles have taken severe beating. His agents thought having his advertise for MOOV or IODEX but he refused. Thus his long absence from the silver screen.

5) Take a low budget multiplex movie like Aamir - The film revolves around a young Muslim man Dr. Aamir Ali who has returned to Mumbai from United Kingdom and finds himself at the mercy of religious extremists who want to carry out a bombing in the city. Even this movie had some interesting sidekick.

The extremists compiled a directory of all doctors and professionals they planned to eventually target both at home and abroad. A smart medical insurance company approached them -saying this will save costs for them to compile such a list. In exhange for this data - this company will provide free underground insurance to the extremists and their families. Clauses though in the contract include - only those injuries when carry out listed extremists activites will be covered. There will be no death benifit - as most of them are going to die in their chosen project. They instead have a survival benifit. Also accidental shooting, chopping off fingers sharpening blades, injured during target practice and other such incidences are not covered.

6) Akshay Kumar new movie Singh is Kingg - here he invoked love for the motherland in fellow Sikhs stationed in Australia. At the end of the movie these Sikhs who are underworld mafia - are converted to good guys who return back to Punjab their homeland. So far so good - but here is a weird outcome.

Punjab government has decided to sue Akshay and the producers. Because of this film many Sikhs all around the world are heading back to Saada Punjab - thus resulting in utter chaos. "Leftover Sardars" stereotyped as being desi blondes...cannot handle incoming traffic of smart sikhs from overseas. The government proclaims that it was easier to rule the really dumb ones that were left behind - now these returnee batch is creating all sorts of problems. Also there was a drop in sale all items related to migrants moving out of Punjab plus the incoming foreign investments also showed a decline.

7) Lastly Aamir Khan's Taare Zameen Par - was much acclaimed and made an overnight star out of Darsheel - who plays the role dyslexic kid Ishaan. This movie did wonders and opened up eyes of parents and teachers - invoking sensitivity towards kids who have this condition or any other medical condition. We heard all kinds of wah-wah's for Aamir and the movie but here is something which was kept away from us.

Ishaan had become a cult figure for young kids all over the country. Suddenly there are many kids who are showing signs of some condtion or the other. Kids now have a secret formula - whereby they know behaving like Ishaan - they can bunk school, can avoid homework, gain sympathy by emotionally blackmailing both parents and teachers. Students suddenly have united where they have their own timetable of which batch of student shows which condition when.

Damn how I wish this movie was released when I was a Kid!!!

So these are some insider news - maybe there are many more - but since they are not published I might have not heard them. If you have any please feel free to share them.

Also this shows that pathetic level of Bollywood films - and even though I know they are going to suckbig time - I still end up watching them hoping to get entertained sometime.

Maybe they have some kind of magic sound in their music which plays in the background and is common to all movies - kinda a bollywood jingle - that hypnotizes and mesmerizes us to go again and again.....

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And now two recipes served so far on Ambrosia by the fellow cookers experimented on Sunday evening by me.

Irani Chai w/Biscuits (These are not Osmania biscuits as mentioned on the post but a replacement tea biscuits). I have a wekaness for brewed tea - an addition from architeture days when we used to gulp it by liters. Irani chai tastes awesome with Maska Pau (Buttered roll) soaked in the tea. The taste of salty butter and the sweet tea is really exotic. (Butter has to be Amul)

Cheese Corn Kartoffel (Modified the recipe by adding finely chopped green peppers and chopped baby carrots in addition to the corn. The soft cheesy buttery sauce with the vegetables crunching against the softly cooked potatoes with a dash of pepper tasted scrumptious.

Wish I could share the fragrance of it online....