Poets Palate

Seems the past hour around New York has provided me with the palate to scribe a little poem : the ingredients:
Full Moon
Dark Gloomy Weather
Departure of a friend
Chocolates
Rain and fog

Today the way I am

Driving along the long winding roads
Shrouded by the mist and fog
Unclear path ahead
Life as it stands now unfolds

The full moon rays shear the clouds
Glistening their borders with its radiance
Inspiration to many souls
But I feel darkness within

A friend
Departing to a new life
Many a dreams and aspirations
Adios amigos with a heavy heart

Creamy chocolate
Sweetness in abundance
Alas every bite is bitter
Sadness persists all around

This is but a phase
Light the candle
See the flicker
Life will be lighter soon.

Om Shanti Om

Here are few lines from the song - "Deewangi Deewangi" from the forthcoming SRK film Om Shanti Om.

Kehene ko waise to sara sukun hai
Phir bhi yeh dil hai ki isko junoon hai
Pal do pal ko khwaab saza de
Isko usko sab ko bata de
Raaz jo sare hain

This is a REFLECTION of my current state of being and many others whose blogs I read here - verbose, elaborate, kinda loquacious, eloquent - but with a simple underlying theme - all are at the crossroads in ones life in different forms - want to be heard, read, poked and appreciated.

Gone Baby Gone

Watched the directorial debut "Gone Baby Gone" by Ben Affleck - who I already liked as an actor. The movie stars his brother Casey and according to me is a brilliant rendition of Moral Ambiguity.
I wont give out the movie - it is worth a watch. It tackles the issues of social evil that are widespread in American Society because of their abuse of Freedom. The evils like drug abuse, child molestation, pedophila, arms possesion, gangs, that lurk in the shabby neighbourhoods are generally hidden behind the "Bigness" and "Glamour" seen on prime time TV.
The movie also scrapes the issues of ones personal fight between ethics and legality. What seems to be ethical is not legally feasible most of the times and by picking one or the other - we are always faced with self indingnation (that is if you are sensitive). You also run the risk of losing people who are close to you if you choose something that is not in line with what they want.
Sometimes one we decide something - there are two ways one deals with them - one is forget about it and feel good that it is done with - and the other where it keeps haunting you "what if it were different" or "what is the outcome of your desicions on others". Both are valid and equally difficult to go through.
All in all kudos to Ben Affleck.

Emotional World

This is by no means a sexist post. Those who are offended - sorry.
But looking at the presidentianl campaign here in the United States - I wondered what if Hillary Clinton did win and so did Benazir Bhutto.
That lead me to do some research on the web and found out that currently - Ireland, Finland, New Zealand, Philipines, Mozambique, Germany, Liberia, Chili, Switzerland and my own Bharat (India) have women leaders currently.
This is not a new thing but it has happened earlier in in 2002, 2006 and in January to March 2007 there have been 13 women leaders.
The difference is that America currently is at its complete low point with Dubya as their president and if Hillary does come in she has an uphill task to revamp American image in the world.
Surely and hopefully her approach will be more humane and peaceful and not war torn......
Accepting that she will be presiding the most powerful leadership position in the world is there a possibility that world could go through an emotional cleansing !!!!!
On the lighter side will we see an advent of tissue companies sponsoring the United Nations and other world meetings - as crying to solve a problem will be a norm not war.
Will crying out loud to protest a certain issue be outsourced to "rudalis" (funeral wailers) as a new job option.
Will shopping be shown in prime time instead of sports.....
Dont know but it can happen - just waiting and watching......

Long (Lost) Friends

Every few months I have this nagging habit to search for my old friends and see if they have their presence online. Many of my efforts have been sucessful as I have somehow found people I knew 15-16 years ago.
It makes me very happy to know that I know friends who are all over the globe- something unthinkable 10 years ago and maybe if Richard branson has his way - might have a friend who is on the Moon.
Some of these contacts turn out to be a great nostalgic journey - where I can relive my personal history. Also it sometimes amazes me that some of them are exactly where they are after so long - complaining but happy - only older - whereas I have been put thru a difficult journey of life shipped to survive in a foreign land....(some of which are my personal choices though.
It makes me wonder what is different within us that some of us are always on the edge ready for something new to happen or try and some are laid back and happy in whatever situation we are in.
Sometimes its irritating getting in touch with some of them - they will reply to the email - saying where they are what they are doing - and inspite of me sending them my phone -expect me to call them after I took the pain to get in touch with them.
But with the advent of Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, LinkedIn - reliving the past will not be difficult unless you wish that some of those people were really LONG "LOST" friends.

Immigration Anxiety Attack

Shrink: How are you today.
Me: How do I look.
Shrink: You seem stressed, come lie down and lets start our session.
Me: Ok, but let me make it clear, I dont know if you can help me with this situation.
Shrink: Let us see. Now what seems to be the problem.
Me: I have anxiety attacks, I perspire and am completly frustrated every few weeks. These attacks are related to my immigration process here in the United States.
Shrink: Ok, explain in detail.
Me: (So I explained in detail my situation, of how many yeras I am here and still there is now answer). I just dont know what is happening.
Shrink: Hmmmm, it is a real problem, you work, you pay taxes, you obey the law and still you are screwed.
Me: Exactly, sometimes I wonder if I am pushing myself on this country, whether it really needs me - a professional who can add to the society - or it really wants those illegal immigrants from neighbouring countries.
Shrink: Dont think that way, you definately are needed.
Me: Ok Doc, for a minute think you are here for a decade, are treating patients day in day out, making a difference to everyones life - but you yourself are unsure everyday if you will be able to stay here next week, next month. What if you have to wrap up your practice and go back to your home country.
Shrink: That is really a problem but I cant help you here as this is a problem caused by external forces and there is absolutly no reference case in our medical journal. You simply have no option but to worry and wait.
Me: Geee, thanks doc, is this why you charge so much......to tell me that you are helpless.
Shrink: Well it sounds stupid, but you are right that I cant help you here unless there is some miracle and they sort out this immigration mess. (at this he straightened his spectacles, coughed a little and started to gape in thin air)
Me: Whats the matter
Shrink: Looking at your situation and putting myself in your position is making me Anxious....maybe even I am having an Immigration Anxiety Attack!!!!!!!

Dreamers Dictionary

As a kid I was gifted a book called "Dreamers Dictionary" - it describes and interpretes elements you dream about. It somehow is very close to the state of ones mental status at that current time. It is an interesting analysis if you can remember your dreams/nightmares.

I found lots of similar websites doing basically the same thing. What made me look at it again was I did have some dreams recently where I saw some modern objects/gadjets and wanted to see if there is a meaning to it. Those specific objects are not in the list yet - they need to update their database.

It is interesting to learn that what one sees as scary/negative in ones dreams is a positive for life and vice versa.

Just something to waste some time when one has nothing to do :)

E-sanyas

Am back from my E-sanyas (retirement/sabbatical). Took the reins of my life to reinvigorate after some very personal setbacks in the last one year.

I had a friend visiting me and so I decided to travel - something I love.

First stop was walking all over New York city (umpteenth time). Have done it rigourously for the past few years. I love the spirit of New as it reflects my urban true self - life coming from Bombay (Mumbai). Many say its a concrete jungle - but I like it anyways as it is full of vibrant people and buildings and things to do.

Then I went to Las Vegas - another man made marvel in the middle of nowhere - there is a lot to do there besides gambling. One can experience New York, Paris, Venice, Rome, Egypt and many other places as casinos are designed to replicate these major cities. It is an epitome of kitsch. One can experience the American way of life first hand-loud, excessive and debauchary. But even then it is a great place to visit.

Next stop was Hoover Dam - yes a real engineering marvel. Then a natural wonder Grand Canyon - it is a captivating space - one feels so small in front of the massive chasm. I walked to the edge of the cliffs and felt the cool air raising me. Wanted to jump off and soar like a bird and assimilate this wonder.

Next stop was back to Joisey and then upto Boston - another city I love - met a good friend Jaggu - a FOB (fresh of the boat) - but a very good host - and roamed the downtown - Quincy Market. My friend wanted to see the Boston Tea Party - but it was undergoing renovation and repairs. Also visited the campuses of MIT and Harvard - what a treat - saw and experienced some great modern buildings - Stata Center by Frank Gehry, Simmons Hall by Steven Holl and Brain and Cognitive Science Center by Charles Correa

Took a drive through Exeter - stopped at Exeter library designed by a famous American architect Louis Kahn. Drove upto a historic town Portsmouth, from there took a scenic drive along the Atlantic Ocean on route 1A. It was a very beautiful drive along the sea on our way back to Boston.

Finally the travel bug ended and back to blogging and "real" life after a short but necessary E-sanyas.

Remo Fernandes

As part of the Incredible India events in NYC I saw and heard Remo at Bryant Park recently.
The old man of Indian Rock - rocked the audience with his rendition of classic songs both from his albums and Indian movies.
Was amazed to see his spirit and "jazba" - versatile with the guitar, flute and his mouth making music and sounds that lifted the spirits.

No wonder he is an "incredible" singer still loved by so many.