God's Inc (GI) -3

I have had two earlier conversations with GOD'S INC.
Transcripts of which can be found here. (they are a bit long but precursor to this talk - these were written when I did not have a reader base - if possible read them)
God's Inc - 1 (September 2007)
God's Inc -2 (November 2007)

It is almost 3 months - finally I was able to pay off all my holiday bills - so decided to call God's Inc again. (they dont have a toll free 800 number!!) Also due to the Christmas Holidays, God's Inc had doubled the price on the call for December to reduce the frivolous calls for stupid gadjets people wanted. They had to take this drastic step as HIS model Santa -11, serving this part of the world during Christmas, had contacted arthritis.
(Dialed the number. After the customary chosing 1 then 3 then finally four....the customer service rep picked up the phone)
Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, ME-74, this is Manish. How may I help you today?

Me: (Surprised) How do you know its me and isnt that an Indian Name?

GI Rep: Sir, we have your phone number on the record and God's Inc have hired Bee Pro to outsource and answer their calls.

Me: (WTF - even God Outsources) Oh Ok.

GI Rep: I see you have interacted twice before. Also from the last transcript I see that you alongwith 11 other ME-74 were upgraded for the Green Design. How do you find the changes.
Me: Well (thinking - I know he is testing me - I transmit the data and he already knows it - again looking for that elusive antenna for the umpteenth time - so I play along) for starters I feel pure and energetic, have had good food supplements and am trying to use energy efficient design modules.
(A loud siren in the background and hush hush noise)

GI Rep: Well, sorry to interupt but, can I put you on a hold.

Me: (as if I had a choice - and I was witnessing chaos as GOD's Inc) Sure.....(I waited for almost almost 10 mins -this is going to be an expensve call)

GI Rep: Sorry we had an emergency, there was a bunch of people who were decommisioned in Iraq. We has to take care of their soul inputs back into our system and so the siren.

Me: What do you mean - people killed by another suicide bomber. (I was a little sad)

GI Rep: Sir, since you are a model that can only transmit data and not act on your own congnizance - let me share some fascinating information today.

Me: Wow, I was feeling privileged.

GI Rep: You know that there are constant calamities happening on earth in the past few years. There was a WTC Tragedy, Tsunami, Bomb Blasts all over the world, Earthquakes...

Me: Yeah, terrible and so many people died - I hope no one of my 24 ME-74's were killed

GI Rep: Well no, all the ME-74 were positioned appropriately to avert any such incidences. But the thing is what you think as a tragedy is basically HIS way of decommisioning old, derilict, useless or faulty models. Sometimes due to lack of time some good models are also decommisioned.

Me: Means ( I was getting confused at this point )

GI Rep: See, to make your life easy, GOD borrowed the technology from Galaxy Automubuloma. They sent their best technicians who work in big coglomerates manufacturing cars, disguised as earthlings. So if there is some problem in the car, then the manufacturers recall that part and replace it or sometimes decommision it. Similarly HE has to do this from time to time. What he does is get the programmers to make these "extra" earthlings to gather at a place and decommisions them at a time by infusing some natural or man made event.

Me: But why in such a tragic manner?

GI Rep: See when GOD leased this planet Earth from Galaxy Inc - the lease says that no more than 7 billion models can inhabit it at a given time. So HE has to take these drastic measures.
Me: So, you are telling me, that these tragedies are planned. (damn). But then why did HE infuse this emotional gadjet in us. Why do we feel sad?

GI Rep: Well that is where the problem is. When earthlings were being designed - there was a brilliant engineer Emostein - who designed these two gadjets. One for the male earthlings and one for the female. Both have subtle differences.

Me: So then why cant he reprogram and RECALL the gadjet - so that atleast we dont feel this pain

GI Rep: Well its all corporate politics. Due to certain early faulty designs like the Mussolini-1, Hitler-1 and Stalin-Jr, stock of God's Inc dropped. Seeing its great potential, Saturn Corp wanted to buy the earth. In an effort to avert control of HIS company, HE traded Emostein to Saturn Corp.

Me: So are you telling me there are more ME's like me on Saturn.

GI Rep: That is exclusive information, I cant divulge. Well so in short Emostein took his programs with him and GOD was stuck with these dual emotional gadjets that he cant recall.

Me: Well, ok....(did not know what to say here). My credit is almost getting over. Just one more question.

GI Rep: Go on...

Me: As discussed last time, Bush-2 will be decommisioned, but why this neck to neck battle of Clinton-2 and Obama-1.

GI Rep: Well that again ME-74 is classified information. In time to come you will see his MasterPlan.

Me: Ok...then, Manish, hope all is well in India.

GI Rep: Yes it is. As usual do not divulge this information to anyone. Thank you for calling God's Inc. (click!!!)

Me: As if I have control over it.