Intercourse Anyone

(Warning - this is not an "aaaawwwww" post but it is more tending towards the "eeeewwwwww" - it has lots of double entendre.......common dont contemplate - read it for laughs)

Dont worry I am not propagating a "real" intercourse or contemplating one from fellow bloggers. Imagine you are travelling in a bus to an new city. You have a beautiful young girl sitting next to you - almost randomly. You are enjoying the trip and then suddenly the conductor announces - "Intercourse Anyone?" and you try to make sure if you have heard it correctly. Look around and see peoples reactions. Suddenly you feel weird looking at the girl sitting next to you....

Well this is what the post is about. The conductor was not asking if someone wanted an Intercourse but if someone wanted to get down in a town called Intercourse. It is a town in Pennsylvania and I became aware of it on my drive to Pittsburgh last year.

So did a little research on Guru Google found some real interesting names of towns around the world. So putting them together to make some interesting observations - While reading try and avoid the country names in brackets.

Few close friends went on a road trip. Here is a breakdown of some interesting events.

Wetwang (United Kingdom), Bigadic (Turkey) and Twatt (United Kingdom) decided to Ballplay (Tennessee US) Bare (United Kingdom) to prevent Assloss (Scotland) in Long Dong Village (China) After some initial Petting (Germany), Titisee (Germany) and Beaverlick (Kentucky), the Hooker (California) said I Needmore (Texas US) in the Anus (France)

Meanwhile Bloody Dick (Montana US) with Bobbin Head (Australia) went to Butztown - (Pennsylvania US) instead of Mount Gay (West Virginia US). There was some Cockintake (United Kingdom) and then some Cockburn (Australia) as they Mount Mee (Australia). After they were Dunmovin (California) and had Climax Springs (Missouri US) there was lots of Seman (Alabama US) floating.

As it so happened that while Fucking (Austria) the Titless (Switzeland) Fingringhoe - (Essex, United Kingdom) with a Thong (England), Bangor (Wales) decided to use a Dildo(Canada) on the Beaver (Oklahoma US.) There was plenty of Sexmoan (Phillipines) while Muff (Ireland) diving

Onacock (Viginia US) meanwhile wanted to Euren (Wisonsin, US) badly and said Fugit (Kentucky US) and went into the woods of Glasscock County (Texas US.) The residents of the nearby Little Dix Village (West Indies) caught him and he ran with his Weener (Germany) in one hand and showing the middle finger with the other saying Gofoku (Japan)

All in all the trip to Moorheadsville (Illinois US) to see some Titz (Germany) and the Nipple (Wyoming US) was not a Disappointment (Kentucky)

While searching for the above names came across these two mother of all names. Imagine writing this on an envelope or a postcard.

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu,

New Zealand (This is really a place - did a search on Google Maps!!!!)

and this small tiny rail station in Wales
LLANFAIRWLLGWYNGLLGOGERYYCHWYRNDROBWILLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH -

Imagine a kid asking his dad - Dad where are we?. Before he can figure out the above town - the train will surely have started to depart!!

And best for the last - will you ever wear such a T-shirt. Its a town in Connecticut, US.

And for those interested - there are many more funny, weird, sexy, odd names of towns all over - just ask Google.

Movie Dekho

Am a bit busy and will visit blogs in few days.
Meanwhile have watched few movies in the past month - would like to recommend three of them here worth a dekho(watch)

Born In Brothels : wiki link

"Born into Brothels, by Ross Kauffman and Zana Briski, is the winner of the 77th annual Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature. A tribute to the resiliency of childhood and the restorative power of art, Born into Brothels is a portrait of several unforgettable children who live in the red light district of Calcutta, where their mothers work as prostitutes. Zana Briski, a New York-based photographer, gives each of the children a camera and teaches them to look at the world with new eyes."

My View : A truly inspiring documentary. Leaves your heart warm. Donating money is one thing but donating time and effort for such a wonderful cause specially where children are concerned is truly commendable. Hope some day I can get involved with something like this.

Loins of Punjab Presents : movie site

"Loins of Punjab Presents,” a witty musical comedy with a sharp political edge, is built on a satisfyingly simple premise. Over the course of a weekend a motley crew of contestants gathers in a New Jersey hotel to compete in “Desi Idol,” an “American Idol”-style singing competition sponsored by a local pork-loin empire. - NY Times Review

My View : This movie was released in India a year back I guess and it made its presence here just last week. Living here for a while now and witnessing the lives of immigrants first hand - I liked the movie as it has truly characterised and portrayed their stereotypical behaviours precisely. It captured the essence of individuals, like when even a Gujarati teenager is shown to have uncanny business sense or a typical desi who must have come here to study rattles statistical data on his date. And the bright moment of the movie was to see a cute actress - Seema Rahmani playing the role of Sania Rahman.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly : Le Scaphandre et le papillon : wiki link

Julian Schnabel has made three feature films: “Basquiat,” “Before Night Falls” and now “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.” All are biographical, examining the lives of real people, and in each case the protagonist struggles with a condition of literal or metaphorical imprisonment - NY Times Review

My View: Loved the way the movie is picturised viewing from the eye of the patient and again an inspiring movie - where one can do what he/she wants inspite of any hurdles.

Hope you watch them and let me know if you like them.

Guru Google.....

Ne previously known as Cindersingle current avatar Singlendacity89 and will be known as "god knows what" tagged me to see what Google knows as to WHAT I WANT.
I wish I knew what I wanted - but anyways....here I come Guru Google....

The rule : Go to google and type your name then "wants".. Example Chintan wants - Wait for the answers to come up and you just write them down….

So here goes:
1) Wants to put forward through his two shows starting in Mumbai - What am I showing and who is willing to see it is the BIG Question....
2) Wants mDings to be private and not viewable by all - The sound of mDings itself does not want me to reveal it to anyone....so let it be invisible
3)I Want Soma …that drug for perpetual happiness - Hahahahahah - it was a link to a blog :-/ - damn!!!! I thougt Google finally figured it out for ME
4)No Child in Bins - now whoever is this Chintan I need to really Meet him and ask him WTF is he thinking?
5)This was "don't" want to know how much $$$ I've spent at Chipotle - Chipotle is a Mexican fast food joint - have been there maybe twice but now this Chintan who must have spent a lot of dough at this place - he must be a real Fat Bastard (like austin powers)
6)Remove all wants and all miseries - Now Google is taking on the avatar of Deepak Chopra here atleast, I hope, and its not Dr. Phil...
7) Want to upgrade your listing? - Again Guru to What I ask ? Errie silence ensues - Guru Googles head has the three color balls orbiting around it. I hope its not for insanity anonymous!!!!
8)Want cyclical mode of production ensuring prosperity for human beings - Man I guess I need to be a spiritual guru...look at all the advice my master is giving me here
9)Wants to urinate - Yeah man - with all this advice I am scared....What am I doing wrong in this lifetime - Where were you all these years Guru......
10)Finally just clicked on the image tab and found an artist by the name of Chintan Upadhaya and now I really want his painting


This was a fun tag...anyone who feels like taking it up be my guest....no wait call google and be the Guru's Guest

Computer Tots

Last few days has been writ with lots of calamities both manmade and natural.
The ongoing bomb blasts in India - resulting in introspective posts on Ankur's, Daydreamer's and Cinderella's Blogs
The first hand report of the trecherous hurricane IKE in Houston Texas by Solitaire
Today the US stock market shamble on Joy's blog.

Inspite of these setbacks and traumatic conditions - rational people like most of us (I say most with a reason) who for a moment pause in awe and bewiliderment - we have no choice but to get our acts together and push forward - though it may seem oblivious as to why? and for what? at the present moment. The future awaits us no matter what. Specially the kids who look upon us with hope and anticipation.

In short LIFE MUST GO ON.

So am sharing this little note, to lighten the mood, that I found stuck on my friend's refrigerator. It was a note that his three year old daughter had received from her Kindergarten School. Hope you smile as I did reading it.

"Podcasting Comes To Computertots -
In our free demo class today, your child helped create a PodCast at their School. Students made a slideshow of stickers and artwork and added a voice-over. To view this website this podcast just goto COMPUTERTOTS website at computerexplorers.com/middlesexnj. Click on galleries and then click on Podcast with the name of your child's school. Then sit back and enjoy"

Reading this little note made me think on my drive back home -
- The way education is about to change or is already changing. It may take a while for this change to be witnessed worldwide but eventually it will change.
- Little kids will now have to get their or want their own IPods with video capabilities (Apple is surely significant from Biblical times to change the way things are in the world....Adam fell for it and now these little ones)
- Will Podcasting or websites eventually replace real textbooks?
- Will there be schools where students go - or will the schools be sent onto their personal PC's wherever they are?
- What will teachers do once all the education materials are recorded for being released periodically in the future.

These are changing times in every way. Many of our lives are in a constant flux - we adjust to new conditions but before we can fine tune - the new is already old and we have to start all over again. If you have any furthur thoughts do share it here.

Have a peaceful week ahead everyone.

9 1 1

For those who follow the Short Story Blog - A New Story Gray is up.
__________________________________________________
It is 7 years today having witnessed one of the most horrible tragedies first hand - the World Trade Center tragedy. It is disheartening to see the remnants of this memory still lurking all around the Tri States of New York - New Jersey - Connecticut - where many families lost near and dear ones. I can still smell the smoke and feel the horror when I close my eyes and think about it.

A 911 call - which is a number dialed here in the US if you want to call the Emergency Services. Yesterday I sort of made a 911 call on the blog - when I vented out and fellow bloggers rushed to my rescue. Thank you one and all.

Also a special thanks to all those who presented me with all the various awards that I have put up on the side bar.

And as I am writing this I hear on the news a major hurricane IKE is heading towards Southeast Texas on its way to Houston. It is going to hit a beach town Galveston - that I visited in May - where a warning "If you stay you face certain death" has been issued. Hope all people and fellow bloggers in the affected region are safe throught this natural calamity.

Here are some pictures that I took today from my apartment:

The New York Skyline - The lights on the Empire State building represent the colors of the American Flag for 911. It changes colors as per the Independence day of a country. It is tricolor on August 15th.

Candles for Ganesha

His Week

The WTC - Tribute in Light Memorial
(check this website for more information)

Garbage

(Seriously you dont have to read this - its basically mental garbage)
Today I am just sitting here in the office and wondering......when is this fucking economy ever going to pick up? It has been slow like hell and being in a small office - I have total freedom to do what I want.
Yeah Right!!!!!!!!!!!! and I am exercising that freedom to the fullest - here is what I have done today blogged-commented, downloaded a movie, checked news, responded to emails, had a loooooong lunch and did some, yes you read it correct some amount of productive work. Its getting from bad to worse. Two years back I was working non stop - everyone was going crazy and now I am going crazy.
Last week and a half has been dreadful. Many "old" news and events that I had forgotten or come to terms with started haunting me again. Like they say you can run but you cannot hide - they found me. Result was that I had a crappy state of mind. Having verbal skirmishes Absolutly not needed and I learnt first hand that empty mind is a devils workshop.
Sometimes when you speak to someone or comment on the blog and they dont understand you give them a benefit of doubt but when many of your comments or real life conversations start to get responses like HUH!, WTF did you just say?, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IS THERE A CONNECTION TO WHAT YOU SAID 5 DAYS AGO AND TODAY....I realised it is ME who is all whacked out.
I can only say sorry to fellow bloggers and people..and am thinking of taking a break.
But then what will I do.....damn it! Am up for vacation but need to save it as I plan to take a longer break and maybe visit home or chances are if the way things are will have to go back permanently if this goes on for another 3-4 months. Many people have Monday Blues - I am turning black and blue here everyday.
Yesterday was another of those days. Alarm conked off, late morning, got a sprain rushing to the car....but was late by 10 mins and got a parking ticket yet again. Then again the misunderstanding of some sort continues its ongoing saga with a particular blog......damn it....WHY is all this happening....who is making me do this when I dont intend any of this. So this is what it is....I am stuck with myself - thats the worst that can happen to someone but it has happened to me.
And to top it now most of the readers will say - Hang in there - this too shall pass......I am Hanging in there somewhere dunno where for a long time and am about to choke or the rope will have to break for me to survive. And this too shall pass - but why did it have to come? is my question.

Well sorry - but had to let all this out somehow.....or else it would have been an aneurysm of my thinking nerves....which I cant afford to let them burst...

wait a call...what...hmmm...yes...YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

achanak some work.....bhagooooo

My Crush

After a long ardous wait for a month, I finally met her. It was last month that I first saw her when she was new here.

We met at a friends house at a dinner party. Initially shy and being around her parents she was reluctant to interact with me. It has been a while any girl has had so much impact on me. I have not been close to one for almost a year now. I was mesmerized by her bright eyes and cute smile and she melted my stubborn heart all over again.

I was not able to stay at their house long that evening as I had prior commitments. If I had known that I will meet such a cute girl who might brighten my dull life, I would have postponed my other appointments. But alas I had to leave.

After that evening I so wanted to see her again - so I called my friend to ask more about her. He was non-chalant and sensing my excitement was reluctant to divulge any more information. I coaxed him to arrange some gathering again at his place. He just said a half hearted . He told me that since they had just arrived , its better that they settle before meeting again.

A month passed and I did not have a chance to interact with her or her parents. What a spoilsport my friend was. Damn!!! I figured the only way to meet her was to talk to her parents directly. But was afraid. After my interlude with them I realized that they were very protective of her.

I could not let her go off my mind and kept feeling and was sure that behind the demure exterior is a mischievous girl. I really really wanted to meet her again. But how.....why on earth was my close friend being such a pest.....

Anyways to cut it short, finally last week my friend did call me to come over for dinner and said she and her parents were going to be there - I was delirious and gladly accepted the invitation.

So finally I saw her again and WOW she looked beautiful. Today I noticed her more closely. I had to be careful as her parents might get some ideas and get angry and I did not want to mess up this opportunity to spend some quality time with her.

As the evening progressed she became a bit bold and made lots of eye contacts with me. We both exchanged many glances and smiled at each other. It felt that she was interested in me but I am reluctant now to assume anything. Just want everything to be perfect this time.

After a long time I was having real fun and that too with a beauty. I had to pass her and her parents as they were seated on the sofa- on my way to the balcony where the BBQ was located. Never in my life have I forgotten so many items or taken one item at a time. Every chance I got to take a peek at that cute face I took and she too kept looking out for me. Was I getting crazy?

What was happening? Dunno but I liked the feeling.

As the evening progressed there was a certain comfort between her parents and me. Her mom showed a liking for me. After the dinner - my friend decided to play some slow music. Both of us being single I took it as a chance to get close to her. I had to do it for my sanity or else the way I was behaving I would have made someone or myself embarrased.
Inviting her to dance I took her slim waist in my arms and she rested her head on my shoulders. It was bliss. Every now and then at a beat we would steal glances. Those cute eyes that I was admiring for so long from far were right in front of my eyes. I wanted time to stand still and did not want this to end. It was surreal as to how things can suddenly change in ones life. I was dull and bored till yesterday and now am all excited.

I took this closeness as a chance to feel her soft skin, so I caressed her cheek and she smiled coyly and enjoyed it. Then I became bold and kissed her soft cheeks and forehead. It felt so good. Her eyes sparkled and I loved it. After a while of dancing she finally slept in my arms to the amazement of both her parents.

This cute little bundle of joy is none other than my very good friends' just born daughter....Kimaya (li'll kim for short) and we were dancing to the tunes of some nursery rhymes.....and yes she is my latest crush....I plan to spend many a good days with her....

And way things are going chances are I could be dancing with the future American President.

Face IT

About a week ago I mentioned I completed 10 years here in the US. Ironic that very same day last week my first cousin and his close friend landed here in New Jersey to pursue their masters degree.

Have been busy with them and helping them to settle and understand this new environment. Will catch up with blogs in few days.

Being with them for the past few days I realized some very interesting things that have changed or evolved drastically in the last 10 years. Also at the same time there are somethings that have not changed at all.

Here are few of them -

- The exchange rate - it was 44.00 Rs. for a Dollar when I came here and again this week it is in the same range.

- The excitement, apprehension and anticipation of the student is still the same.

- Bill Gates has been so undecided on what we view from his Window - saw him change from Windows 98 to Windows ME to Windows 2000 to Windows XP and then now to Windows Vista

- Computers were in the 486 version with 256 MB Ram and 14-15" CRT monitors and cost around $4000.00 and now 14-15" LCD laptops with around 2-4 GB ram cost anything between $500-$1000. So computer's "internals" became "bigger" but in reality became smaller and the price became 1/10th.

- Cell phones - they were like brick bats then - heavy and cumbersome. Now the digitally smart phones are the "in-thing". Here too US has moved progressed from TDMA to CDMA to GPRS to GSM technology. Really never bothered to know what they are as long as I could make a simple call. And also met many people struggling with these new phones complaing that it does not work properly - my only question to them is - it is called "SMART PHONE" isn't it? - Are you really that SMART to own one?

- Internet has gone from Dial Up to Wired Cable - DSL - and now the latest Fibre Optic. And also the wireless has progressed from A to B to G to N. It has become faster and better but is also enslaving us everyday.

- Netscape was the browser to be with if you wanted to be cool and not use IE - IE is still around but now you use FireFOX to be cool.

- Prices of everything - fuel - basics like milk - vegetables etc etc is almost up by 10 times but the rents for apartment and fees to colleges havent increased that much.

- Music was bundled in Audio Cassestes on their way out then to Compact Discs and now its all about MP3 on the lill MP3 Player. Same with the movies - moved from VHS to DVDs and also DIVX formats.

These are just some of the observations that I made....and the last but the best one is one of the biggest changes - the way we communicate back home.

Orkut, Facebook, Cellphones, VOIP, Yahoo Chat, Gtalk, Messenger, ICQ, SMS so on and so forth.....there are so many tools that now both the parents/friends back home and students here are living this "new life" simultaneously with constant back and forth of information. Dont know if these two will ever feel that they are really away away from home.

I sometimes wonder how someone who came 10 years before me - felt and realized these differences...if he thought about it when I came.

And lastly here is an interesting video of Facebook in Reality: