"Hollow"ween

Lat night I became part of the Halloween Parade in New York. A bizarre event where people loose their inhibitions cross dress, put on scary costumes, innovative garbs - making a personal, social or political statement. There was an immense crowd of participants and onlookers - all with simply a purpose to show off and see. Loud music blared from the floats - a mish mash of reggea, rock, techno and other simply some noises banging on metal vessels.
Amidst this crowd and noise and excitement I someohow felt lost. Dont know why it dawned on me but moving around in this huge crowd crushed by all kinds of people I realized that I am a common man - just fighting myself to have aspirations to do something special - and making my life into a self created misery. Why am I doing this to myself - why could I not simply enjoy the parade.
We get into deeper shit with life because of our actions and then everyone around wants to shroud that truth by putting these so called spiritual and religious words that are supposed to somehow magically erase all memories and pains. I feel one should simply tell you the magic word that makes the most impact - You are FUCKED dude. This word has all the conotations and no hidden meanings - one word says it all - you are alone - nobody wants you around - life is a bitch - you are struggling for lost causes - you have to struggle for your existence.......
Sometimes and like yesterday I felt that knowledge - too much of it makes life more complicated and "hollow" and it scares me.