Me and Mrs. Muller-32 Days

Where is Mrs. Muller? Maria
She is dead. Taken aback I dropped the gift.
What do you mean she is dead

Hey Maria make a sandwich for Ceedy
And a coffee for me
I am feeling tired with all these painkillers

This is going to make her happy I thought
Tommorow I will gift it to her
I am happy to lighten her pain and suffering

I wish my kids were here today
Sam might come to meet me for New Years
I will be able to see him finally in a month.

She feels I am her son!!! going by the note
This digital photo frame will make her happy.
Maybe I can click pictures of Maria and café and gift it to her

I love this garlic shrimp: Maria you are a darling
Love to come here and meet everyone
Helps me forget my loneliness

The note read : Sorry young man
I fell in the bathroom yesterday, could not sit longer
See you Monday morning Son!!!

Ceedy is late today, maybe caught up at work – its Friday before the weekend.
I cant sit anymore, this pain is unbearable
Give this note to him Maria - See you all on Monday

Adios 2007:Share a smile with Calvin and Hobbes

Probably my last post of the Year. Want to share a smile with all my real and e-friends.
Hope this coming year brings you whatever you seek.
I have the entire collection of Calvin and Hobbes all of ten years - some COOL ones for the season.
(know someone will ask if I love cartoons - which I do - and that is a post I promise in the coming months - its importance to get me thru many a tough times :)

Happy New Year folks !!!!! Enjoy.

Santa Bhai (Mr. Santa)

Taare Zameen Par - An Interpretation

Finally the day arrived and I was able to see the first day first show like many other Aamir Movies I have watched in the past. Had a half day at work, movie was playing near the office - off I went - was the only lukha I guess - as I was the only one to see the first show besides the person who had rented the theater here in Newark, NJ.

TZP is about recognizing the inner hidden talents, respecting the individual for his characeteristics, letting the child be a child and about looking at life not as a competetion of like minded people but a garden where all different flowers having different shades, colors and fragrance can exist.

TZP manages to ask so many questions at so many level and is about children - what better way to interpret it than asking questions and allow the readers to be children and count - and decide if they will like the movie. Take a paper and pencil and write down the answeres for these questions.

First 3 questions about AK and the movie

a) Do you like Aamir
1- Yes I love him
2- Sometimes
3- No he is an ego maniac and I hate him

b) Do you expect something different from AK
1) Yes, certainly do
2) Lets see, if he delivers
3) His mouth is bigger than his films

c) Do you like movies that are slow but meaningful
1) Yes certainly do,
2) Yes only if the message is worth it
3) I like fast paced - non sensical movies

Now about yourself:

d) Do you always feel that nobody understands you
1) Yes
2) Sometimes
3) No, I am very explicit and confirming

e) Do you question life and its nuances
1) Yes, always
2) Sometimes depends on what it is
3) Life is just about answers, we have to live it

f) Do you like to think outside the box
1) Yes, always, there is a solution for all problems
2) Maybe, it all depends on what the defination is
3) What box! Everyone should just follow the norms

g) Do you feel that anything you do is always wrong - thus instead of explaining it - you fight with others to leave you alone
1) Yeah thats me
2) I sometimes do wrong but like to explain
3) I am never wrong

h) Solitude is my best friend
1) Yeah that certainly is
2) When I am down I want to be alone but otherwise I like to be around people
3) If I am not around people who will adore me

i) Your views about children
1) Adore them - they are the light of life
2) I like older kids - real little ones are a pest
3) Why cant they be born straight as teens?

j) Rules in society have to be followed no matter what
1) Rules can be broken and new ones formed - thats progress
2) Cetain aspects need to have rules and certain can be thought about
3) Rules are there for a reason - one should not tamper with it.

Hope you enjoyed this little questionnaire - See the comments section for interpretation.

Sliver of Hope

Vietnam War Memorial - Washington DC

Thoughts while taking this picture -

There is a whole past shining upon us

Reflections of war, tragedies, acheivement, joy, pleasure............

History is in a constant process of being created

You are always standing at the crossroads between the past and the future

Darkness within you is bound to come at different points of time

But there is a sliver of hope

There is always that beyond

Grab it while you can..........

Kite Runner - Fly your own Kite !!!!

Hey friends - most of you must be aware of the book Kite Runner - By Khaled Hosseini.
Now you can watch it as a movie : Kite Runner - The Movie
An interesting feature within the website : Fly Your Kite - Be Good Again

Dont forget to check out the Kite I flew for all fellow bloggers who visit me -

On the Be Good Again webpage there is a search bar on lower left corner -

Type "ceedy" there and then click on the Kite to see the message

Thats the Kite waiting !!!!!!

Snowbulous

Transparent and brilliant

Ice

A while to form it took

Floating first in Neverland

Appeared to the vision

Settled in its surroundings

Disturbed but exhilerated

Cajoled and conquered

Shone and shared

Then

Melted and Withered

Evaporated

Dissappeared

Back into Neverland

All in a day

We

Following the same

Rythem and pattern

From inception to death

Why then does it take

Us a lifetime

Outsourcing American Presidency

Reading a recent article, I noticed that the approval rating for American Presidents has been a low 60% among its last five presidents.
Maybe its time for them to think different and Outsource its Presidency.

Lets say they Outsource it to India - my viewpoint on some Advantages to both the coutries (readers are welcome to add more)

1) They will be an ON CALL 24/7/365 President
2) Even a primary school student in India will have a better IQ than Dubya (Bush) - and the person will work on 1/4 the salary
3) The President will be a corporate entity who will be overlooked by a Board of Directors
4) They dont have to worry about interns and sex scandles
5) Cricket will become Prime Time here (my personal agenda)
6) Bollywood will get lot more masala to make more MASALA FILMS
7) Indian will get the best security personal working in India to protect the President - will help make the desi Pandu Hawaldars a little professional
8) In India over and above the many holidays we enjoy we will get Presidents Day, Veterens Day, Memorial Day etc etc American Holidays too
9) They will be able to enjoy the real RICE and not this Condi...
10) India-Pak dispute will be amicably resolved as now they will have to be ally to India in the non existent war on terror

I think I should copyright this idea.....

U Tube

Some interesting You Tube Videos.
Instructions :
Total time needed to see all three - 6.74 minutes.
Disclaimer :
The above time is as shown on You Tube......watchers should account for additional time based on their personal whereabouts and connectivity speeds :)
Credits :
To everyone who has time to create these videos - and make me ignore work :)

For Calvin and Hobbes Lovers

Sand Art

Women In Art

And finally I got my client to scribe my name in Chinese.

Thoughtprovoking Cartoons

when life depends on others approval - its always precarious

vagaries of war

faith

the grass is not always greener on the other side

dont take things for granted - nobody is invincible

finally - personal favorite -

on going war between mind and heart

- special thanks to a friend for sending me this and many more :)

Tag - Dhi Na Dhin

Was tagged twice not so long ago.....finally decided to dwell into them and write them down:
Tag 1 : (by pri)
5 Things in My Room:
My Writing Pad and Pen (for every little thing i scribble it down or sketch it)
My windows to the outside world (one real window for light and air and my bills gates's window for rest of the stuff)
Books - lots of them and all kinds - simultaneosly reading 5 different books depending on mood
Hard Drives loads of music -desi, english and hinglish and movies - in short my entertainment center)
Thought Balloons (every now and then there is some thought that I have - i blow it into a imaginary balloon and let it float in the room - in times of solitude - i burst few and carry them on - beleive me the mind stays light and the thoughts dont dissolve)

5 Things in my Bag
Sorry I dont carry any - like some other blogger had mentioned earlier - probably this was created by girls - mere bag me tereh bag se kam samaan kaise !!!!( how come my bag is lighter than yours)

5 Things in my Wallet
Wallet is the physical existent identifier of who I am in this country - and with relevant safety resources
License - identity
Credit Cards -need to eat and fill fuel
AAA Card - American Automobile Association card - for emergency situations like car break down - accidents etc etc
Medical Insurance Card - a must as I am on the road a lot - never know what can happen
Metro Card and NY Pocket Map - love New York - so carry it in my wallet with a metro card for the subways.

Phew!!!!!!There I finished the first tag.

Tag 2 : (by jaggu)
My 8 Habits - Facts in Life

1) Beleive in myself - to a point that people think I am despotic - but its part of my training as an architect - where if I dont beleive in my design how can I build something for someone - has now become my inherent quality
2) Movies and Music - anytime anywhere no matter whats happening in the world - I can watch a movie or listen to some sounds from any part of the world
3) Books - as described above love to read
4) Experiment with Food - am a vegeterian and love to cook so experiment with different cuisines from all around the world and give them a vegeterian twist - well honestly have not required to cross that line as yet - find everyone happy to serve you their version of vegeterian food - and have eaten in restaurants here from almost 24 different countries and cuisines.
5) Tea - love desi chai (tea) - can drink it anytime, anywhere -
6) Chocolate - damn this is my weakness - really in any form - chocolate bars and candies, truffles, cakes, mousse, bourbon biscuits, chocolate milk, chocolate horlicks and complan :P......
7) Rum and Coke (previously old monk and thumps up ) - dont know how long and how many i must have had -but always go back to my dear old rum - reasons are simple -
Gam ka Sathi Rum (friend in the time of sadness is rum)
Khushi mai bhi hamesha saath denge Hum (will also be you friend when sharing happiness)
8) Travel all over
Thats it - how I wish life was as simple and straightforward as doing this tag. I dont want to tag anyone - if you like it pick it up and let me know when you complete it so I can visit you and read it.

Virgin

Was anxiously waiting for her to come.....and she finally did - virgin lady snow - and went away leaving me with a memory to anxiously wait for her again - I ventured out to greet her - here are some pictures and my love for her.

footprint in the snow of time

in all its glory - pinebrook, new jersey

at a pond in the forest - pinebrook, new jersey

Serene and pure
Spreading her whiteness across the expanse
Lay the beautiful virgin

Captivated by her brilliance
Showered the heavens little flakes
Embellising her diaphanous gown

Inviting every weary soul in her embrace
She mesmerized them
Rose thus the shining star from behind the mountains

Radiating his brilliance across her
Masked her with his glory
She sighed

Slowly caressing her every curve
With the first kiss to her luscious lips
She melted in his arms

The gown bore the creases
Of their ecstatic nuptial
Virgin she was no more

Unfortunately Fortunate

(this is my own repeat post - from when I only had few readers - but want to share with more people and get more inputs)

The views put forth may not go very well with many readers - but this is something I do beleive and want to share it. I am not immune to emotions but I think I have the strength to overcome it.
All our lives we are somehow morose or sad and are always finding a reason
Why somethings did not go the way we wanted it to or assumed it to be.
Why do WE have to face these sudden changes.
What have I done to get this and so on and so forth.
Happiness goes in a blink but sadness stares at us forever.We trap ourselves into a cycle of self "mental molestation".
What happens is that we tend to forget the great moments of our life, or just remember them as a sad memory, and also at the same time loose all this current precious time in our lives.
Everyone faces this quandary in all walks of life - career, family, relationships, friends........Sometime ago I read this little quote "I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." and in my solitude I mulled over it and it got me thinking (something that I do naturally every moment of life).
Arent we all slaves of our own doing. We want freedon from every aspect our our lives but dont have the strength to gain freedom from our very sad self. Freeing yourself from sadness to live those little moments of happiness that you experienced is what I think makes you fortunate in the most unfortunate circumstances.
I think one should feel fortunate that we have LIFE and try hard not to waste its nuances by going on celebrating sadness. Instead celebrate those moments that were really exhilerating in , relationship, career, family, friends - that you currently miss - feeling lucky that you had a chance to experience those great unforgetable moments. (many people dont ever get a chance to experience it)
Try hard to take that as a positive experience - Enrich the SELF, strengten your SOUL. A person who you are not aware of exists within you....
It is easier said then done and many people think that this is a selfish unemotional approach - I agree but I am trying hard to be responsible for what I become henceforth and not blame the circumstances and the world for where I am currently -

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present." -- Elenor Roosevelt

Professional Chinese Whisper

click to decipher

This was sent to me by a fellow architect friend last week.
This scenario is geared towards us poor optimist architects who always dream and try to make something out of nothing.
But this might as well pertain to all other professional/consulatant professions where one has to rely on a command chain to execute a simple idea.

God's Inc (GI) - 2

On September 14 of this year I had a call made to Customer Service at God's Inc.

The transcript of the previous talk can be found here (http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/09/gods-inc-gi.html).

Yesterday following up on that call - I got a call back from GI Rep. Last time I was speaking to Travis - a rather stern character. Today my luck I was talking to a chirpy Stacy - something was not feeling right (a hunch)

GI Rep (Stacy) : ME-74 this is Stacy, calling on behalf of God's Inc. How are you doing today, hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Me: Yes, thank you (in my mind cut the chase tell me the reason for you call fast.....)

GI Rep: I see that you had called a few weeks back and had asked to see if any peripherals were available to upgrade your model ME-74. At that time when you called we were having a secret research going on and did not want to leak out the news. So GOD told you that there is no upgrade availaible.

Me: OK..... (So even GOD lies. Hmmmmm)

GI Rep: As you are aware that we have been constantly monitoring data coming from you and are happy that you have been selected alongwith 11 others out of the total 24 in your design group.
(started again poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)
This upgrade is to make you fellow ME -74's compliant with the future research that we are going to conduct here.

Me: Why are you asking for my consent this time - why like last time am I not told that I am simply designed to transmit data.

GI Rep: This again is confidential data that we cannot divulge. Let me go through the process and you will understand. Tonight post Thanksgiving dinner at 9.30 please go to the balcony and face East. Close your eyes and tap your head three times. We will then start the process of upgrading your database.

Me: Ok....as if I had a choice. (just to be smart) Stacy, thats your name right?

GI Rep: Yes

Me: What if I dont go to the balcony? What then.

GI rep: Sir you are aware that these design desicions are not in your hand. We implement the entire program. Here is what can happen if you dont comply. Thanksgiving dinner is as you know heavy and you will have had wine. You will start to feel nauseous and caustrophobic whereby the only option for you is to be on the balcony outside. Also we will activate the code for severe headache whereby you will have no option but to tap your head. So in short simply just comply.

Me: Ok (damn - why did I open my mouth. Now I understand why this polite girl is talking to me today - Marketing man, marketing - hope she is as hot as she sounds :))

GI Rep: So the update is based on the current technological advances implemented by an Intelligent Design Model Gore-1. We are trying to make Me-74's green and energy efficient. This way the data collected from you will help us design a better versions of Green Models and updates for the ME85-95 derived from you.

Me: Ok. Is there anything special that I will have to do.

GI Rep: No dont worry. Everything has been taken care off. You will do exactly as planned.

Me: Hmpfffff. Ok. Hope it is an useful update. ( I have limited control as I was made to understand before)

GI Rep: Tommorow then we will forward you the relevant documents that you can email back to us - have to make sure that there are no bugs and the upgrade was sucessful.

Me: Ok, thank you, will do as PROGRAMMED. (again I felt all quesy and started to look for that stupid antenna)

GI Rep: And by the way you are not supposed to divulge any information that you email back to us to fellow ME. We understand that you have started a BLOG.

Me: Yeah I kinda know, secret right and if I dont comply I will get a flash and will loose part of my current memory and........Oh!!! One more question, last time you mentioned that you guys were figuring out what went wrong with Bush-2, can I know if there was any progress.

GI Rep: Sorry again confidential, but be assured that we are upgrading and constantly reprogramming Clinton-2 and Obama-1 so that everything comes back to normal. Also we are looking into the possible recommisioning of GORE-1 to head the state as his work to implement Green Design is almost over.

Me: Ok, Thank you. I feel good as there is hope and maybe then my being reprogramed will make sense.

GI Rep: Have a nice day. (Click)

(just sitting here wondering - there are some obvious signs on me after this upgrade, but I cant divulge - GOD's INC gives us all the necessary programs and operating systems but it is left upon us to make them useful and if you stray you stand a chance of being decommisioned)

Thanksgiving

Starting today is a four day holiday Thanksgiving weekend here in the US. It kind of is the start of holidat season which will last till January encompassing Christmas and New Year.

It is a nostalgic day for me as lots of things have changed in the past one year. Today marks the ninth year I am here in the United States and life is again at the crossroads. But the spirit is much brighter today.

Today marks the busiest travel day of the year when everyone who is away from their home - studying, working, teaching - get together and celebrate the Thanksgiving Dinner.

Also 8 years ago tommorow marks my initiation into the American culture. I was lucky to be part of a Thanksgiving Feast hosted by my German Professor for whom I was a Teaching Assistant at the college here - invited me alongwith a fellow Chinese student, a Banglasdeshi couple, a German girl - exchange student and her Husband who is an Egyptian.
The reason for me to write the different countries is to elaborate that no one of us was an American - all immigrants - all here to expand their horizons in their own ways. Each with a dream and aspiration - separated from near and dear ones back home either because of personal choice or aspirations or need.
She was a very nice lady who invited us knowing that none of us had our families here and also her own son was away and could not make it. A special gesture -as mostly Turkey is served at this dinner - she made vegeterian dishes for me. It was a memorable evening etched forever in my memory.

Today thus I take this opportunity to say Thank You to everyone I have known till now, I have not yet known but are part of this Universe, and extent it to all I will know in the future.

We have been given an identity and placed on this planet. But single handedly we are just objects with with reasoning powers - it is only after the interaction among different people that we get classified and categorized based on our similarities and differences, This is then what defines that identity and it becomes a being.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving !!!!!

Taare Zameen Par

After the two Diwali duds, (almost) OSO and Saawariya, I am anxiously waiting for the next Aamir movie "Taare Zameen Par",- (crazy aamir fan here :)). This is his first directorial debut and hope he is able to pull it off.
Listening to the songs already for the past 10 days.

Here are all the interesting links: (I told you I am crazy):
Official Website
Wikipedia Trivia
Internet Movie DataBase (Imdb) - this is a site where you can see the upcoming projects for different stars, directors, producers, etc. etc. from all over the world....
Songs online

And finally here is the link to Aamirs Own BlogSite

Enjoy !!!!!

Force, Choice, Blessing

I was flippin thru the few days ago and landed on a channel of a motivational - Joel Osteen. I want sure at first about this thin frail looking guy - being an inspiration - but his spirit and the way he adressed caught my attention.
He spoke about some interesting ideas about how people and events are juxtaposed and how it is all a masterplan.

I gave it a serious thought and wanted to share them.
When we are sad, dejected and basically down- we do not want to seek out to others - do not feel like interacting - blame everyone including GOD for our miseries and the state of affairs - we FORCE ourselves into oblivion, self disdain and reproach. It affects every part of our existence - mind, body and soul.
Sometimes we have no CHOICE - either we force someone into a sad situation or someone forces us into one. In the first instance if one is sensitive we keep feeling guilty and in the other the guilt is forced upon - thinking constantly what the heck did I do to get this. But we all have within us that little power to break that choice. Move on with vigour and face life. Can you imagine how have you survived physically so long without any effort ( sometimes you do need elixers). It is a process of survival that is ingrained in us. Can we use it to survive emotional upheavals. I dont know the answer (but its worth exploring)
Coming back to his speech where he said this interesting thing - when we are lost - there is always a new door that is waiting to be opened or opening. In circumstances we meet certain people who pull us out of this - this is what he called the master plan.
You have to meet somebody or get something - it does not pop out overnight - they were put into action way before - going through their own growth and understanding - and when the right moment comes you meet them. So dont despair as there will be something or someone already planned for you and you will surely meet them - FORCE yourself to look at the options - make that a positive CHOICE and it may eventually turn out that all that you are going thru is a BLESSING.

Calvin - My Friend

I wont reiterate my love for Calvin and Hobbes. I have mentioned about them in August (here is the link to the previous post).
This is one simple cartoon but as always I like to analyse the smallest of things. For me this has lots of life lessons embedded within.
Firstly the childhood innocence - you do what you feel like, when you feel like and where you feel like. Nothing, absolutly nothing besides having fun and getting tired and delerious matters. In this case Calvin is enjoying the task of simply nailing the coffee table.
Secondly the apathy when you grow up - you start possessing things - that are valuable in kind but these actually bound your spirits and self as you are always worried about them. Here the apathy on the moms face is evident as her possesion - the table - maybe prized - is being damaged.
Lastly the question "Is this a trick Question" - the ultimate quiz - that we all have in life. In all our daily grind, emotional shrouds, and physical labor to make a living - we do not see what is apparent - we forget how to live - we keep trying to coax, cajole and try to find answers where sometimes none exist.
Some people might see this as a losers attitude - but I differ, I see it as self pride - you can only do so much - beyond it just let it all go - it will come back if it is meant to be - if not like the old sufi song
"सितारों से आगे जहाँ और भी हैं " (there is a world beyond the stars) "
- there will be another door open.
One should always ask that kid within you - the simple questions -it does not mean that we have to behave like one just keep that spirit alive - I experienced it first hand recently what it feels like to be a child again.
Let me know your input while I play with my dear friend Calvin

The Quiet Time

Finally winter has dawned. It was 42d F (5.5d C) today. I dared to venture outside onto the balcony in light clothes. The cold penetrated every part of the body and I felt the chill up the spine. It felt like the forces of nature were shaking me and waking me up. Many of us have a habit of creating a bubble around us because of our fancies - unable to perceive the reality and accept it. This exposure to brutal temperature craked that bubble - a much needed respite.
Around the same time I was experiencing this I witnessed the most beautiful sky at the time of sunset for few minutes Attached is the picture. It calmed my mind and felt very peaceful. I feel a strong urge not to be sad anymore - simply step back, contemplate and make the best of what this situation is offering me.

A quiet time - with nature and the universe - even for a few minutes - makes you realize that life is a wonderful experience and has a lot to offer. It upon us to explore the unknown or brood over the known.

"Hollow"ween

Lat night I became part of the Halloween Parade in New York. A bizarre event where people loose their inhibitions cross dress, put on scary costumes, innovative garbs - making a personal, social or political statement. There was an immense crowd of participants and onlookers - all with simply a purpose to show off and see. Loud music blared from the floats - a mish mash of reggea, rock, techno and other simply some noises banging on metal vessels.
Amidst this crowd and noise and excitement I someohow felt lost. Dont know why it dawned on me but moving around in this huge crowd crushed by all kinds of people I realized that I am a common man - just fighting myself to have aspirations to do something special - and making my life into a self created misery. Why am I doing this to myself - why could I not simply enjoy the parade.
We get into deeper shit with life because of our actions and then everyone around wants to shroud that truth by putting these so called spiritual and religious words that are supposed to somehow magically erase all memories and pains. I feel one should simply tell you the magic word that makes the most impact - You are FUCKED dude. This word has all the conotations and no hidden meanings - one word says it all - you are alone - nobody wants you around - life is a bitch - you are struggling for lost causes - you have to struggle for your existence.......
Sometimes and like yesterday I felt that knowledge - too much of it makes life more complicated and "hollow" and it scares me.

Poets Palate

Seems the past hour around New York has provided me with the palate to scribe a little poem : the ingredients:
Full Moon
Dark Gloomy Weather
Departure of a friend
Chocolates
Rain and fog

Today the way I am

Driving along the long winding roads
Shrouded by the mist and fog
Unclear path ahead
Life as it stands now unfolds

The full moon rays shear the clouds
Glistening their borders with its radiance
Inspiration to many souls
But I feel darkness within

A friend
Departing to a new life
Many a dreams and aspirations
Adios amigos with a heavy heart

Creamy chocolate
Sweetness in abundance
Alas every bite is bitter
Sadness persists all around

This is but a phase
Light the candle
See the flicker
Life will be lighter soon.

Om Shanti Om

Here are few lines from the song - "Deewangi Deewangi" from the forthcoming SRK film Om Shanti Om.

Kehene ko waise to sara sukun hai
Phir bhi yeh dil hai ki isko junoon hai
Pal do pal ko khwaab saza de
Isko usko sab ko bata de
Raaz jo sare hain

This is a REFLECTION of my current state of being and many others whose blogs I read here - verbose, elaborate, kinda loquacious, eloquent - but with a simple underlying theme - all are at the crossroads in ones life in different forms - want to be heard, read, poked and appreciated.

Gone Baby Gone

Watched the directorial debut "Gone Baby Gone" by Ben Affleck - who I already liked as an actor. The movie stars his brother Casey and according to me is a brilliant rendition of Moral Ambiguity.
I wont give out the movie - it is worth a watch. It tackles the issues of social evil that are widespread in American Society because of their abuse of Freedom. The evils like drug abuse, child molestation, pedophila, arms possesion, gangs, that lurk in the shabby neighbourhoods are generally hidden behind the "Bigness" and "Glamour" seen on prime time TV.
The movie also scrapes the issues of ones personal fight between ethics and legality. What seems to be ethical is not legally feasible most of the times and by picking one or the other - we are always faced with self indingnation (that is if you are sensitive). You also run the risk of losing people who are close to you if you choose something that is not in line with what they want.
Sometimes one we decide something - there are two ways one deals with them - one is forget about it and feel good that it is done with - and the other where it keeps haunting you "what if it were different" or "what is the outcome of your desicions on others". Both are valid and equally difficult to go through.
All in all kudos to Ben Affleck.

Emotional World

This is by no means a sexist post. Those who are offended - sorry.
But looking at the presidentianl campaign here in the United States - I wondered what if Hillary Clinton did win and so did Benazir Bhutto.
That lead me to do some research on the web and found out that currently - Ireland, Finland, New Zealand, Philipines, Mozambique, Germany, Liberia, Chili, Switzerland and my own Bharat (India) have women leaders currently.
This is not a new thing but it has happened earlier in in 2002, 2006 and in January to March 2007 there have been 13 women leaders.
The difference is that America currently is at its complete low point with Dubya as their president and if Hillary does come in she has an uphill task to revamp American image in the world.
Surely and hopefully her approach will be more humane and peaceful and not war torn......
Accepting that she will be presiding the most powerful leadership position in the world is there a possibility that world could go through an emotional cleansing !!!!!
On the lighter side will we see an advent of tissue companies sponsoring the United Nations and other world meetings - as crying to solve a problem will be a norm not war.
Will crying out loud to protest a certain issue be outsourced to "rudalis" (funeral wailers) as a new job option.
Will shopping be shown in prime time instead of sports.....
Dont know but it can happen - just waiting and watching......

Long (Lost) Friends

Every few months I have this nagging habit to search for my old friends and see if they have their presence online. Many of my efforts have been sucessful as I have somehow found people I knew 15-16 years ago.
It makes me very happy to know that I know friends who are all over the globe- something unthinkable 10 years ago and maybe if Richard branson has his way - might have a friend who is on the Moon.
Some of these contacts turn out to be a great nostalgic journey - where I can relive my personal history. Also it sometimes amazes me that some of them are exactly where they are after so long - complaining but happy - only older - whereas I have been put thru a difficult journey of life shipped to survive in a foreign land....(some of which are my personal choices though.
It makes me wonder what is different within us that some of us are always on the edge ready for something new to happen or try and some are laid back and happy in whatever situation we are in.
Sometimes its irritating getting in touch with some of them - they will reply to the email - saying where they are what they are doing - and inspite of me sending them my phone -expect me to call them after I took the pain to get in touch with them.
But with the advent of Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, LinkedIn - reliving the past will not be difficult unless you wish that some of those people were really LONG "LOST" friends.

Immigration Anxiety Attack

Shrink: How are you today.
Me: How do I look.
Shrink: You seem stressed, come lie down and lets start our session.
Me: Ok, but let me make it clear, I dont know if you can help me with this situation.
Shrink: Let us see. Now what seems to be the problem.
Me: I have anxiety attacks, I perspire and am completly frustrated every few weeks. These attacks are related to my immigration process here in the United States.
Shrink: Ok, explain in detail.
Me: (So I explained in detail my situation, of how many yeras I am here and still there is now answer). I just dont know what is happening.
Shrink: Hmmmm, it is a real problem, you work, you pay taxes, you obey the law and still you are screwed.
Me: Exactly, sometimes I wonder if I am pushing myself on this country, whether it really needs me - a professional who can add to the society - or it really wants those illegal immigrants from neighbouring countries.
Shrink: Dont think that way, you definately are needed.
Me: Ok Doc, for a minute think you are here for a decade, are treating patients day in day out, making a difference to everyones life - but you yourself are unsure everyday if you will be able to stay here next week, next month. What if you have to wrap up your practice and go back to your home country.
Shrink: That is really a problem but I cant help you here as this is a problem caused by external forces and there is absolutly no reference case in our medical journal. You simply have no option but to worry and wait.
Me: Geee, thanks doc, is this why you charge so much......to tell me that you are helpless.
Shrink: Well it sounds stupid, but you are right that I cant help you here unless there is some miracle and they sort out this immigration mess. (at this he straightened his spectacles, coughed a little and started to gape in thin air)
Me: Whats the matter
Shrink: Looking at your situation and putting myself in your position is making me Anxious....maybe even I am having an Immigration Anxiety Attack!!!!!!!

Dreamers Dictionary

As a kid I was gifted a book called "Dreamers Dictionary" - it describes and interpretes elements you dream about. It somehow is very close to the state of ones mental status at that current time. It is an interesting analysis if you can remember your dreams/nightmares.

I found lots of similar websites doing basically the same thing. What made me look at it again was I did have some dreams recently where I saw some modern objects/gadjets and wanted to see if there is a meaning to it. Those specific objects are not in the list yet - they need to update their database.

It is interesting to learn that what one sees as scary/negative in ones dreams is a positive for life and vice versa.

Just something to waste some time when one has nothing to do :)

E-sanyas

Am back from my E-sanyas (retirement/sabbatical). Took the reins of my life to reinvigorate after some very personal setbacks in the last one year.

I had a friend visiting me and so I decided to travel - something I love.

First stop was walking all over New York city (umpteenth time). Have done it rigourously for the past few years. I love the spirit of New as it reflects my urban true self - life coming from Bombay (Mumbai). Many say its a concrete jungle - but I like it anyways as it is full of vibrant people and buildings and things to do.

Then I went to Las Vegas - another man made marvel in the middle of nowhere - there is a lot to do there besides gambling. One can experience New York, Paris, Venice, Rome, Egypt and many other places as casinos are designed to replicate these major cities. It is an epitome of kitsch. One can experience the American way of life first hand-loud, excessive and debauchary. But even then it is a great place to visit.

Next stop was Hoover Dam - yes a real engineering marvel. Then a natural wonder Grand Canyon - it is a captivating space - one feels so small in front of the massive chasm. I walked to the edge of the cliffs and felt the cool air raising me. Wanted to jump off and soar like a bird and assimilate this wonder.

Next stop was back to Joisey and then upto Boston - another city I love - met a good friend Jaggu - a FOB (fresh of the boat) - but a very good host - and roamed the downtown - Quincy Market. My friend wanted to see the Boston Tea Party - but it was undergoing renovation and repairs. Also visited the campuses of MIT and Harvard - what a treat - saw and experienced some great modern buildings - Stata Center by Frank Gehry, Simmons Hall by Steven Holl and Brain and Cognitive Science Center by Charles Correa

Took a drive through Exeter - stopped at Exeter library designed by a famous American architect Louis Kahn. Drove upto a historic town Portsmouth, from there took a scenic drive along the Atlantic Ocean on route 1A. It was a very beautiful drive along the sea on our way back to Boston.

Finally the travel bug ended and back to blogging and "real" life after a short but necessary E-sanyas.

Remo Fernandes

As part of the Incredible India events in NYC I saw and heard Remo at Bryant Park recently.
The old man of Indian Rock - rocked the audience with his rendition of classic songs both from his albums and Indian movies.
Was amazed to see his spirit and "jazba" - versatile with the guitar, flute and his mouth making music and sounds that lifted the spirits.

No wonder he is an "incredible" singer still loved by so many.

Words......language.....sentences

Had a very interesting discussion today at the office.
The point of conjecture was "Is having a knowledge of a particular language or its words and their meanings actually detriment to the way we emotionally respond to the spoken words or sentences"
What it simply means that if I was cursed or insulated or praised in Russian, Polish or Telegu or any other language that I dont know, my reaction will be absolutly nonchalant.
But if the curse word or insult or praise by the same person, if meted out in a language I am cognizant with - then I will rile up and react to it - maybe start arguing or cursing back or feel happy at being praised.
Even though language is a means of communication and a myth to supplement it - as there are so many out there - even a sign language - it still has a lot of bearing as to how we behave if we are aware of its phonetic resonance.
This resonance can depress, exhilerate, frustrate or simply irritate. But if this language is a noise to you (means the one you really dont understand) then life goes on happily no matter what is said about or to you!!!!!

Just some ?

- Do you feel that a Blogger can have a BLOC just like the writers have WRITERS BLOC
- Do you think it is time to change "PEN is mightier than the SWORD" to "KEYBOARD is mightier than NUKES"
- Do you feel like a "NIPPLE" as life always sucks !!!!!
- Dont you think that if you have a great LIFE INSURANCE and if you happen to DIE - every beneficiary will LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER except you
- Dont you want to thank Nehru and Jinnah today for giving us India and Pakistan - how else on earth could we have has such a great cricket rivalry (well bangladesh still has a lot to catch up)
- On the flip side - can you imagine an invincible team if we were not separate - Akram and Tendlya, Inzzy and Dravid, Dhoni and Afridi, and so on all in one team.....

Modern Slave :(

How a small trivial experience in in everyday life can OPEN YOUR EYES.
Friday my tool for social networking - a.k.a. mah blackberry decided to quit on me. Dunno what it was I was saying or clicking or pushing its wrong circuits - it just decided that it wants to be with me no more.
I had developed a special relationship with it and it knew very well that without it being around I will be like a speck of dust in this vast desert. It could not even be jealous as I had no other phone.....
The weekend has been horrible getting my life back on track. Was not able to communicate with anyone - had to miss important meetings.
Life came to a standstill and it still is till its other friend via mail.
Then I realized how I have become a slave to this little machine and as always there is a lesson I learnt from this episode - just like how we become reliant on people around us and they suddenly leave or die and life becomes a mess. Thats when we realize our own importance and start to scamper and gather ourselves.
But I have decided to fight this ;) and not be enslaved by these little machines - can I really do this in the modern day and age.

The Sea Inside

Another Classic movie I saw recently. "The Sea Inside".
I wont go into the storyline (you can read it with the link above). This movie moved me. It questioned what is Love - is it about possessing it - making the one you love suffer because you are selfish and cant seem to see life without him/her.
Or it is about liberating - and being unselfish - release the one suffering from the others clutches.
Similar idea can be witnessed in the Hindi movie "Fanaa" where Kajol liberates Aamir from his dilemma by killing him in the end. For me that was an unselfish move by her to end his life - which lightened the burden on him to choose between his love and his calling.

Only in Jersey : you park on driveway and drive on parkway

Another of my passion driving......

Being an Architect - I simply love to see places - all kinds of places. There is no intention to reach somewhere or do something - the intention is to glide and let the roads guide you.

I love to explore any place I go, driving around almost the entire day tirelessly.....just love to view the world from the front, frame by frame as it exposes itself - manmade structures or natural surroundings. The enigma that is this earth has so many flavors, colors, sizes and shapes......

I shared these journeys with a special person......but now she is around no more...

Now its me and my car. We have a special relation that a man and machine can have. It understands my moods, my ecstacies, my deliberations and drives accordingly. It is a zen like experience exploring the world sitting inside as it tirelessly rotates, takes the brunt of all kinds of weather, surfaces and other fellow cars.

I will end this with a song that I remember by Tom Cochran "Life is a Highway" (You Tube Link)

Life is a highway

I wanna ride it all night long

If you're going my way

I wanna drive it all night long

"Rue" Afza to Rooh Afza

Rooh Afzaa is a drink : here its is description from Wikipedia:
Rooh Afza is a a popular concentrated syrup invented by Hakeem Abdul Majeed and manufactured by the companies he founded, Hamdard (Wakf) Laboratories, India and Hamdard (Wakf) Laboratories, Pakistan, since 1907. The inventor never explained his choice of the name Rooh Afza, english speakers often refer to it as 'rose syrup'. It is a natural cold drink and a blend of pure crystalline sugar, distilled extracts of citrus flowers, aquas of fruits, vegetables and cooling herbal ingredients processed to impart its taste. Hakeem Abdul Majeed claimed that Rooh Afza was concocted using Unani medical principles. However, it is said that Rooh Afza means "that which tempts your soul" because "rooh" means soul and "afza" means which tempts.

Pay special attention to the last sentence. Sad folks are tempted to be "rue"ful and that takes the fun away from their soul - so trigger the ROO, banish the "rue" and enjoy the elixer of life.....just like every sip of the Rooh Afzaa.

Gods Inc (GI)

(Ringing, Ringing.....Choices, pressed 1 then 3 then 4 finally....my turn to talk to customer service representative from God's Inc.....Am on hold......(this message will be recorded for new born integration purposes).....waiting...click)

Me: Hello

GI Rep: Hello, this is Travis from God's Inc. How may I help you today....

Me: Hi, I have a question regarding ME, have some operating problems.

GI Rep: Sir, before we proceed I would like you to confirm certain things....

(He goes on to confirm my dad's, mom's name and place of birth - he gets my record in their database @ God's Inc.)

GI Rep: Ok sir, now what seems to be the problem

Me: I need to upgrade my operating system and memory to relate to other people.

GI Rep: Let me check your record sir....will be with you in a minute (puts me on a hold)

GI Rep: Sir, the model that ME-74 is built of is an experimental model. There are only 25 such models that were designed by Mr. God. Right now all those models are functional and active in different servers of the world. ME-74 are not allowed to upgrade or have any changes.

Me: Hold on, so you are telling me I am a Guinea Pig. A mouse !!!!!!!!

GI Rep: I cant say that sir, after we all are still HIS creation, but I do beleive that in your case it is somewhat like that.

Me: Damn, no wonder then I cannot proceed with simple daily functions as I am still primitive in my actions while all other BIOSes have been upgraded. Is there anyway I can attach a peripheral device to enhance what I have atleast instead of replacing it.

GI Rep: Sir, I am sorry that cannot help you. You are put there to undergo certain life events that we are monitoring constantly. The data received from you and 24 others put in different servers helps us design the future parts. ME 85-95 are ungraded versions of ME-74 and you mignt find them to be congrous to you but not similar.

Me: So without my consent I am helping others while I cant be helped. I have to undergo this trecherous journey without any respite from the INC.

GI Rep: Sir, I dont think you have a right to give a consent, you are programmed to transmit the data.

Me: (started poking my ears, checked my eyes and entire body...to see if there are any probes that are transmitting the signal...)

Me: So you are saying that virtually I have no warranty whatsoever on any of ME-74. It is a limited edition experimental model. So is there any possibility of ME-74 getting any help to make things a little easier.

GI Rep: Sorry sir, but you are an absolute. You were derived from experiments of ME58-68. And are an advanced version of those but a primitive version of the current. The only way you can get upgraded is that one of the other 24 ME is deactivated and their parts are reattached to you. But currently you are going through a phase where you might be shipped to a different server from the one where you were first transplanted and so are the others.

Me: Now I started to feel oblique. I am special but at the same time I am common. What luck!!!!!! So I will go, but is there any way I can leave a message for Mr. GOD.

GI rep: Sir you are lucky as he is in the office today, trying to figure out what went wrong with the model BUSH-2. He is in a meeting with the engineers to see how to decommision this model or atleast change its system. Hold on let me get him for you.

Me: Whoa.....I was going to talk with the master himself.....man I started sweating and became nervous. (after a long pause)

GOD: Hi, ME-74, this is the master speaking. You wanted to tell me something.

Me: In a fit of nervousness, yes Sir, I just wanted to thank you for this journey on earth but wanted to ask you why was I chosen for the experiment.

GOD: First of all, I appreciate you thanks. Dont despair though, atleast you have a journey that is exciting. There are many rejects in my office here. There is no special picking of you, it was random. So enjoy it while you can or else I will have to decommision you.

Me: No, its fine, now I know my place in this whole wide big world. I will carry on this exciting journey and keep transmitting you data to design a better ME in the future. (again I fidgited with myself to see if there is any probe on ym body)

GOD: Great, have a wonderful life and please dont hesitate to call us if you have any doubts or questions. Click.......

(If you like this fictional writing you will surely enjoy the movie The Truman Show)

Unfortunately Fortunate

The views put forth may not go very well with many readers - but this is something I do beleive and want to share it. I am not immune to emotions but I think I have the strength to overcome it.
All our lives we are somehow morose or sad and are always finding a reason why somethings did not go the way we wanted it to or assumed it to be. Why do WE have to face these sudden changes.
What have I done to get this and so on and so forth.
Happiness goes in a blink but sadness stares at us forever.

We trap ourselves into a cycle of self "mental molestation". What happens is that we tend to forget the great moments of our life, or just remember them as a sad memory, and also at the same time loose all this current precious time in our lives.
Everyone faces this quandary in all walks of life - career, family, relationships, friends........
Sometime ago I read this little quote "I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." and in my solitude I mulled over it and it got me thinking (something that I do naturally every moment of life).

Arent we all slaves of our own doing. We want freedon from every aspect our our lives but dont have the strength to gain freedom from our very sad self. Freeing yourself from sadness to live those little moments of happiness that you experienced is what I think makes you fortunate in the most unfortunate circumstances.

I think one should feel fortunate that we have LIFE and try hard not to waste its nuances by going on celebrating sadness. Instead celebrate those moments that were really exhilerating in , relationship, career, family, friends - that you currently miss - feeling lucky that you had a chance to experience those great unforgetable moments. (many people dont ever get a chance to experience it)
Try hard to take that as a positive experience - Enrich the SELF, strengten your SOUL. A person who you did not know exists withing you....
It is easier said then done and many people think that this is a selfish unemotional approach - I agree but I am trying hard to be responsible for what I become henceforth and not blame the circumstances and the world.

My Dear Friend Murphy

Hope you have heard about Murphy's Law. As it states that "whatever hads to go wrong will go wrong" - but what if that wrong is your right your way of life.

What if you are put into situations and choices you get are "right" for the moment, feel the best thing to do - but actually are an apparition.

Amitabh had a friend "Tanhayee" in his famous song "mai aur meri tanhayee"....similarly I have a dear friend Murphy.

Every stage of life I am faced with choices that basically make me select them forcefully - as they are choices that are a result of another wrong choice I have made earlier - I know they are wrong but I am basically helpless. And so the cycle continues and the wrong has become right.

In life some people have to make adjustments - completely change themselves or simply fine tune their current position. But what do you do if someone related to you has to constantly make adjustments because Murphy has decided to be your best buddy.

Do you force them to make Murphy a part of their life..........

Surreal Bill

Date : Tuesday, 4th September
Time: 19:45 PM
Place : Barnes and Noble Union Square, NYC.
Event: Book release "Giving"
Cause:http://www.clintonfoundation.org/index.htm

A moment that will be etched in my memory for life. It overwrote all my current miseries and pains. That one moment when I stood in front of him and complemented him for his great work for humanity and how he is my inspiration of a true leader for life. That same moment when he appreciated my appreciation of his relentless work, sealed with a handshake and "GIVING" of his book.
That person is none other than the President Bill Clinton.

For me it was a surreal experience - where I am used to standing in long queues in India at various temples to catch a glimpse of GOD - who invariable does not speak - just is there. Here I waited for two-half hours along with people from all over the world - a similar experience akin to waiting at the temple - the difference, most people go and wait in the temple to ask GOD for something - here people were waiting to give appreciation and show support to what I feel is a modern day GOD - President Bill Clinton.

American Nightmares

Another one of my favorite subject ARCHITECTURE - actually my life line from where I administer the intravenous fluid to survive this physical world.
I am working here in the US for the past 5 years in a small office that deals with Residential Projects. I opted to shift to a smaller office from a big one - to come in touch with the REAL PEOPLE - WITH REAL DREAMS (obviously based on thier income) and PROBLEMS (created becoause they dream bigger than they can eschew).
I think to be a good architect you have to be socially sensitive and design to exhilerate the spirit.
It has been a very interesting journey - I have met people from all walks of life -people from all different nations - religions - aspirations -dreams - apprehensions.
But all these people have common goal of attaining the "American Dream" - their Home.
But it is sad that I am unable to push the boundaries in this contractor-mortgage dominated field of practice. Any Tom-Dick-Harry who can weild his weapons of mass production (construction tools) can become a contractor.
Their lack of sensitivity backed by the ever hanging cloud of mortgage and loan payments - trickle down on bastardizing the home designs.
I have designed houses where the bathrooms for a certain class of people is a bedroom for the other where a family of two three share that room. But the windows and the configuration and the materials and the look of the houses is almost the same.
It is very surprising - a country like US - priding itself for individualistic growth - the individual has accepted this form of architecture.
I also beleive the social problems in this country are because of the way these houses are - lacking sufficient daylight - smelly, creaky and cramped - (most because of the absurd zoning laws) - people tend to avoid being home or are just simply stressed once they are there.
I simply wonder sometimes and ask is this really THE AMERICAN DREAM or NIGHTMARE

Calvin and Hobbes

I am a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes and admire Bill Watterson for his wonderful comic strip. I have the entire collection of his 10 years work and everytime I read it I loose myself into a phase of life I wish I never came out off....childhood.
The mischievous way in which he questions and lives life reflects a state of mind which is in constant influx of data - analysing it - rejecting it and poseing a new question - that really makes you think of many facets of life that we take for granted.
Childhood is a time when we are innocent (most of us are) and we live life as a adventourous journey rather than a daily chore.
Why is it then we give up this wonderful feeling of being a child, why is maturity that only brings a lot of pressure and sadness a journey that one is forced to partake rather than live a life of free spirit.
Dont get me wrong here as critics will question that as we grow older we need to be more stable- I dont deny that but like my friend Calvin - I just feel like asking - if everyone out there has an issue with the way their life is going- isnt there a better way to maybe try living our lives.
I may or may not suceed - but I will not regret trying it - it makes the journey adventourous just like my Childhood.

If interested you can follow this strip @ http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/

Indifference

I saw a French Movie yesterday - "Romance". There was a very interesting scenario.
The girl who is in love - says that she is miserable because she is either in love or hating her partner. The only way out of this misery is to be "indifferent" towards the other person.

It got me thinking of how true this is in all phases of life not just love. We are always questioning why a certain thing happened - good or bad - this shows our love or hatred for the situation. And all our future actions or worries or enjoyment are based on this one thing that is already history.
Instead can we become indifferent - step back for once and see how things were before - not in the future - can we become that person - with whom this episode never occured - so that there is no love or hatred - just indifference.
It is difficult to comprehend - even for myself what I am asking - but maybe the key to lot of world problems lies in this little aspect.
Imagine countries went back in time and reinvigorated past friendships rather than solving current problems one after the other - as a retaliation to others actions.
Or life before this advent of cars - it is not impossible to revert back to it. This way solving global warming will not be necessary.
Well I may sound absurd and be dreaming of Utopia - but hey guess what like Einstein puts it

If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. ~Albert Einstein

One mistake is all it takes

I am sometimes sad for my self and also sometimes amazed. I question a lot - and there are sometimes no answers as the questions asked are never thought about or are not allowed to be thought about.
We lead our entire lives safely comforting everyone who is involved or connected with us - at all levels - family, profession, education. We want to prove our worth and also get appreciation for what its worth.
We become comfortable with life and its daily routines so much so that we mechanize ourselves. Lead a robotic life who has brains - cognitive and intellectual powers but only to be used within this safety zone or net.
For once in my life - I was aware of myself - I questioned - I fumbled.
The foundation shattered.
Now there is no one to prove to and no one to appreciate.
One mistake is all it takes...........

Lot has changed in my life recently.

The last year has been like a tsunami for my soul. I underwent a personal battle with all different kinds of feelings. Life is a funny race - we are put into it since we are born
- the patterns of life
- eat drink sleep poop stage
- read write understand stage
- read write more and comprehend stage
- then specialized read write to get a stamp of approval that one has acheived a mastery of a certain subject stage
- then show off those skills at work
- collect and accumalate and settle with a family stage.........
the race continous and we are not allowed to stop or restrospect - WHY WHY all this......

God Warriors - A CNN Special - My view

Past three days from Tuesday to Thursday CNN aired a special by Christian Amanpour : http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/gods.warriors/.
It was an intersting program to witness as it opened my eyes to the reasons of struggle of millions of people around the world based on the fanatic following of a particular religion. The program talked about the Jews, Muslims and Christians. The point of criticism here is that the program was too focused on certain countries that the United States has personal interest in.

The world is currently divided by imaginary boundaries that have country names as tags. Protection and respect of the "country" is taught to be the primary function of every human for that particular country. Even then there are innumerable wars across these imaginary lines as people dont agree on certain issues, or there are hidden agendas to procure energy, labor, food etc etc.

Beyond that now countries with one common tag - namely similar religion are teaming up against other countries grouped under a different religion. So the teams have reduced as the players have merged.

One thing though people are forgetting is that they are still physically bounded by the EARTH. We talk about GREEN LIVING - but not about ONE LIVING.

It seems every religion is waiting for a messiah to emerge and make the world peaceful. Instead of waiting for the messiah - can each of us help the next person and help make the world better - rather than killing so many in the pretext of someone else doing the job to save us.

Religion has moved from its spiritual existence to that of a political agenda. Power struggle to control the world based on converting people to follow a certain way of life is ridiculous.

I come from India - where according to me religion is a national time pass. If not for religion most of the billion people would not know what to do in their daily existence.

My question to every person from every religion is what are you REALLY seeking. Will being in a lonely group that has survived after all this madness make you HAPPY. What guarantee is there that there is a MESSIAH and he/she will come. What guarantee is there that after you survive this religios strife you will not divide again to make smaller group who share personal interests.

Wake up and relaize that if you do beleive that there is GOD - and you really want to make him happy - you have to be first happy within yourself - not hate your neighbour who chose to pray in a different format then yours. Realize that the final goal of each of us is the same - and instead of fighting amongst each other -let us help each other to acheive this common goal.

Introduce my self to ME

This is my first post and first attempt to blog and speak UP to the unknown readers out there. My interests lies with how people from different parts of the world evolve.
There are innumerable factors governing ones development - parents, siblings, institutions, religious establishements, governance and so on and so forth. These factors imbibe in us a sense of boundaries within which our mind and body functions and reacts and cultivates. This is what makes us grounded and sure.
Besides this we have our dreams and nightmares - dreams unsettle if we pursue them or neglect them and most nightmares are unsettling.
It is fascinating that even though all the previously mentioned factors determine the way we lead our lives - there are other factors that make us look and accept beyond. This whole revolution of computers around the world has transcended all the other factors and many people are "worshipping" it as a self sustaining life force. The reactions to the world are now virtual and not limited to the physical space that we were born into.
This is phase where my mind and body is in a constant upheaval, there is a constant thirst to learn new things - as even a lapse of few months will make me and my skills obsolete and at the same time there is a constant satisfaction of having learnt a new idea. But this is shortlived and now we dont or we are forced not to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We cant sit back, relax and say that it, now I have mastered it.
Do you think that this influx of constant choices will or has psychological impact on our daily lives.